Blah

Blah, blahblah blah blah blah blah blah blah. Blah blah blah blah blah blah. blah blah blah blah blah. blahblahblah blah. blahblah blah blah! blahblahblahblah blah blah blah blah blah blahblahblah? blahblah blahblah blahblahblah blahblahblah! blahblahblah blahblahblah, blahblah blah, blahblahblah blahblahblah blahblahblah blahblahblah blah.

blah, blah blah blah blah blah blah blahblah blah blah blah blah blah.

Yeah. That's all I got. Don't know why, actually have ideas for writing, but a bad case of the blahs has got me sort of reading, some of the time, but not really. Not stopping blogging, I don't think, but I need a break.

Also! I must e-mail Dora, but I have been carrying the (to me, at least) creepy ten plagues puppets around in my bag, and I WILL get them in the mail this weekend to make Passover. But that's about the only promise I'll make.

What's new in your world? How do you shake the blahs?

from the what the hell files

So the other day I was wandering through Bed Bath and Buy More Stuff when my eye hit upon...finger puppets? For Passover? Depicting the plagues? What the -?

Do people want their children to play with depictions of the plagues? Boils? Locusts? Darkness? Blood? And yes, the death of the first born?

Is this weird and creepy, or am I really ignorant of other's cultural practices? Who buys this?

ETA: Ok, wow. Who knew? Sadly, BB&BMS does not sell them online. My store must be lucky. You can buy them at the Jewish Store for $14, OyToys (great name) for $17.99, or, heck, a bunch of places for prices ranging from $14-$20. You can also buy a box set of toys for each of the plagues from Amazon, though why the first born plague is a nine piece puzzle is not clear. I, uh, had no idea. Although my catholic lenten sacrifice was to stop buying stuff, I have an idea for a giveaway. I'll happily mail one set of puppets to the first person who e-mails me (address at right). A better contest (from someone who receives more comments than I do) would be tell me what plagues you, or something along those lines, but I'll tell you, ever since I was a child, as a first born, the first-born thing - the whole reason for "pass-over" - has really, really scared me. I stay away from plagues.

thawing

First, thanks for sticking with me in my fits and starts. I have about 50 million posts in my head (ok 4 definite ones all thought out) and just no umph to get them out.

Second, NO, my recent bout of minor stomach virus resulted in NO weight loss. Must hope for more vriulent strain next time, I suppose.

So relations with my in-laws continue to thaw. My husband calls there once every ten days or so, and his mother reaches out to him, too, calling or e-mailing or texting about the same.

For Valentine's Day, she sent a huge gift box. My daughter got a goody bag of candy, two fancy spring dresses from Laura Ashley, and an outfit from Gymboree. My son got the same goody bag, two play outfits from Carters, and an outfit from Gymboree.

My mom sent cards to both, with stickers and a $5 bill.

My parents are very thrifty, very frugal, and enjoying their retirement on their own terms. I never worry about their future. His parents are spendthrifts, have declared bankruptcy, have a full mortgaged house, regularly spend more than they take in, vacation in the Caribbean, bought a timeshare, rely upon a pension, eat out frequently, and purchase lavish gifts. Who will take care of them once the money eventually runs out?

So I grew up living within my means, only buying what I could afford (which meant after money was put away for rainy days and future desires). And these gifts kill me. I love shiny new things are much as anyone. I love the dresses and outfits for my daughter. I used to enjoy receiving gifts from them myself. But I know the true costs of those gifts. Not what they cost today, but what they'll cost in the future, either in terms of expectations or family fights once they run out of money and require their children to take care of them. I don't want to pay either price. I don't want my kids to eyeroll at my parent's frugality and prefer big boxes from their other grandparents. I want them to understand value, not cost. I want them not to be swayed by shiny and new.

I think I just have to trust that values will win out. I also have to accept that they will develop their own relationships with each set of grandparents, and that's a good thing.

Just wondering

Is it wrong of me to hope a recent bout of a very minor (thank the lord) stomach virus has left me a few pounds lighter? Been snowed in, cold and stomach virus going through the household, and saw a mouse in the kitchen yesterday. Awesome.

I'll be back. Eventually.

a definite double standard

I realized something after I hit publish on the last post. I dismiss those media accounts of Elizabeth Edwards possibly not being a very nice person. I do pause when I think of her defending him when she knew of the affair but he was still running for President, though I think that charade was also part of her denial/fear/worry/dread/victimhood (still lied to by Edwards)/anger of discovering the affair and not wanting it to be true, wanting to minimize its impact, to save what was her dream, too, of a happy marriage and high public office. In short, she gets a pass. I respect her and empathize to a certain extent with some of her pain, and know I've never experienced the extent of pain she has. And I think the accounts of her behavior are exaggerated, mostly reported anonymously, and written through a prism of politics, not real life.

But the other woman? Those exact same media accounts that call EE a shrew and harpy (namely the Game Change book as well as the one by the repellent aid of Edwards) describe the other woman as pretty much a kook. And I have totally accepted that as obvious fact. Clearly she's a kook, a hanger-on, brazen, shameless, a desperate Other Woman.

I suppose the good news is we'll never know, will we? (Until, god help us, she writes her own book and sits down for her tell all with whomever. Now that I think about it, the fact that she hasn't sought publicity probably means something - still getting paid off? hopeful of reuniting with Edwards?)

I'm done with this story, I really am, but I was surprised to realize the logical gap in my interpretation of this situation.

So, yeah.

John Edwards. Ugh. I won't link anyplace because it's everyplace. And it just gets uglier and uglier. He's out of politics now (and forever, I don't think you come back from this), so this poking and prodding is just for gossip purposes now.

I was watching GMA this morning and Cokie made the point that painting Elizabeth as a harpy shrew was pretty damn unfair. What do we expect? She has cancer, for god's sake, and her husband is having this sordid affair. Hell yeah, lady, get angry. I know if I were her I would have been afraid, too (I know there are all these timing issues, what she knew when and how that coincided with cancer and recurrence). But overall - you're sick, you might die soon, you have young children - and your husband is off with some kook. I would have been hysterical, thinking about my kids caught up in this and what their future would hold. Ugh.

At least he's getting public judgement. There's one public figure I despise with a passion, and not (just) because of his politics (disclosure for new-er readers: pretty unabashed liberal here). Newt Gingrich divorced one of his wives while she was fighting breast cancer.

I used to, before 2007 and my husband's affair, be afraid I would get sick, really sick, and he would leave. That's how I saw it happening (poor naive me). There are some men, for whatever reasons of upbringing and temperament, who simply cannot deal with hard things - with not being the center of attention, with having to take care of someone else and not, therefore, being taken care of themselves. We have better tools now and a better understanding of ourselves, but I have no illusions.

Back to the bigger issue: People are people. Those with a national spotlight are no less human than anyone else. Should we be surprised at their humantity? Should we expect more from them? I think we should expect them to be flawed humans, but hopefully, as with all of us, doing the best they can.

two sides

I've always been fascinated how two people can view the exact same thing completely differently. Your world viewpoint comes from so much - your background, your life experiences, your place in the world.

The best example of this in my life is our house. We live in the middle of a city, in a historic rowhouse built in 1914. It's big enough - 20 feet wide by 40 feet deep, with big high ceilings, original woodwork, built in china cabinets with original glass work, gorgeous hardwood floors. And the downsides of a older house - original drafty windows, small closets, old wiring and plumbing. It has good lines, as they say, and a classic feel, though not as elaborate as some truly grand turn of the century places. Over time, we've slowly been restoring bits and pieces (like stripping one stinking coat of ugly paint from the beam and coffered dining room ceiling!) and built up the attic into an office and switched the layout on the second floor to build an extra bathroom. But there remains much work to be done, though we've hit a standstill these past couple of years with small children and no real extra money (the two may be linked somewhat).

My husband and I both like the feel of older houses, there's something stately and distinguished about the grandeur that's different from modern suburbs with their atrium foyers and huge exapanses. (Though how I would love a redone kitchen!)

But the two persepctives: I look around and I think, of all our friends, we have a grand house indeed. Many of our friends live in condos or smaller places, or the small houses in the close in suburbs. We also have friends who live in the giant new, shiny places in the true suburbs, but there's no appeal for me (though the space! the closets! the shiny-ness! OK, there's some appeal.). I look at our house, a work in progress, and I am proud of it and sometimes even feel slightly embarassed by all we have compared to others.

My husband was raised in the burbs, and with his family, status was everything. He looks at our house compared to his friends (mostly the ones in the burbs) and is slightly embarassed by how much it lacks and how much it needs, and how even if we did everything, it would still not quite measure up (no yard, not enough space).

Same house. Two people who have poured a lot of heart and soul and cash into it. Two perspectives.

Anything in your life that you see so differently?