pop roundup

A few disparate threads from the world swirling around in my head.

So this new political book is being released today, Game Change, and it's caused a storm in the political blogosphere. Some Sarah Palin stuff on 60 Minutes, the Harry Reid explosion, and a lengthy (8,000 word) excerpt in NY Mag. The excerpt isn't what you'd expect - Palin or Biden or Clinton or Obama, even. It's the chapter on the implosion of John Edwards' campaign, called Saint Elizabeth and the Ego Monster. I liked John Edwards a lot, and of course adored Elizabeth. This excerpt isn't easy to read, and honestly partially makes me feel even more naive for believing in them. Although, who knows anymore, maybe I've bought too totally into the PR image, but I do think it's unfair to Elizabeth. It's too glib, painting her as a shrew and bitch and their marriage as completely dysfunctional before anything ever happened with his kook mistress. Real lives are more complicated than what staffers see, or reporters or analysts piece together in hindsight. What's clear is two real lives that are messy and extraordinarily complicated.
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Desperate Housewives fans? I read someplace last year that Mark Cherry, the creator and head of the show, wanted to cover the loss of a child in one of the housewives' stories, and that's playing out now. I've always resisted the conventional wisdom thinking that Felicity Huffman was the best actress on the show, far above the others. Her character was too self-righteous, too strident, too something. This season, at 45, loving her career, 4 kids nearly raised, she found herself pregnant, with twins. And quite ambivalent about it. Ridiculous storyline of plane crashing into a street party found her, 6 months pregnant, diving to the ground to save the life of another child on the street. All seemed fine, until she clutched at her belly and was rushed to surgery, only to wake and learn one of the twins had died. The one people are talking about is the episode where she imagined what her life would be like if the twin survived surgery and was born with a host of unspecified issues. It was good. Last week's show, though, is the one that left me in tears. She's carrying on, seemingly fine, by burying her grief and looking forward. Her husband confronts her, says we never talk about it. And she says, what are we supposed to talk about? How we'll look at our one baby and always see the one that isn't here? It's powerful stuff, hard to watch. But so far, done very, very well, and mercifully, in short, small doses.
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Anyone watch Good Morning America today? I saw a few promos for a story on another surrogacy-gone-wrong tale (not the one I've seen discussed yet), but decided most emphatically NOT to watch it. But pointing it out in case anyone else wants to go look it up. The thing that really caught my attention though? The promos said something like, 'millions of people rely upon surrogacy to build a family....' Really? Millions? What sort of sketchy math is going on over at ABC? I'm sure it's just a matter of time before this story makes its way over to Private Practice.

And speaking of my least favorite Private Practice, I've got the last three episodes on my DVR. Meh.

Anything capturing your attention these days?

spoilers

So, if your 10 month old isn't sleeping, and you're totally exhausted, you might just fall asleep with your 4 year old and miss an entire night of TV. Which is probably a good thing, and what happened to me last Thursday night. But, we have a DVR, and I work from home and pump breastmilk twice during the day, so I have little windows to watch TV. I watched the first ten minutes of the season premiere of Private Practice. Judging Amy was discovered minutes after the baby had been removed, was rushed to the hospital, and her friends worked frantically to save her. Cause, you know, far better for doctors from private clinics to do surgery on a friend than actual hospital surgeons.

It suddenly occurred to me they were probably going to have to do a hysterectomy, and I already feared the baby was going to die. So when I went back to work, I looked online at Television without pity and read the entire episode recap. And that made it safe to actually watch the episode, because it all ended relatively happily with baby recovered (and recovering from operation from bad c-section that damaged spleen), uterus safe, and Judging Amy recovering. And of course Addison me me me got to work in several times how she was the best damn neonatal surgeon blah blah blah.

However, promos for next week show that Judging Amy is not adjusting well to motherhood. Someone tells her, you haven't left the house in weeks! Well, guess what. Another facet of motherhood the show isn't going to do well. No new mother, and especially not an older, single mother, not to mention one who has been brutally victimized, is going to have an easy time of it. I myself did not leave the house, or shower, or do anything but recover from my c-section and breastfeeding struggles and new baby daze. I distinctly remember my first real get out of the house and go someplace at 4 weeks (I was out walking around to the store and local errands, but not much more than that).

I'm reading a book about getting fit that says step one is get rid of the TV. So I think of Niobe saying she doesn't have time for TV. I don't have time to work out, but I do have time for TV. And I thought about Jo commenting that at least there is a show that has some level of awareness around fertility issues. That's true, I guess I jsut want more. So I'll keep watching. Plus, the promo blurb for the show in two weeks says Addison's affair with Noah catches up to her. Then I'll be more enraged (seriuosly, these days I'm too tired).

There are times with movies I actively try not to know what is going to happen. Saw The Sixth Sense, for example, and had the real pleasure of a shock at the ending. But usually, I like to know. I like to know what is going to happen. I kill time online reading entertainment spoilers. I read movie reviews in the actual paper, no less. But I never, ever skip ahead in books.

What about you? Do you like to know spoilers? In some entertainment, or in all?

tonight

So I spent all summer thinking about tonight's premiere of Private Practice, and last season's finale.

Do you ever write blog posts in your head? Long, elegant, well-thought-out positions that explain your view of the world? And then they buzz around in your head until they finally make it out or just sort of drift away? Or is that just me? I think I've written and rewritten in my head this post 7 different times, as different thoughts have occurred to me.

I spent some time after the finale reading various pop watch sites, and the general consensus on the baby stealing story was: ewww. Well, not just ewww, but eeek, horrifying, awful, too terrible, not appropriate for TV but for a horror movie type coverage. Not positively reviewed at all. And I've noticed that the producers have taken some of the mystery out of what will happen tonight: pregnant about to be carved up Violet will live. The promos make that clear, the TV guide blurbs state that right away. What's less clear is if the baby lives.

So that brings me to my latest thoughts. Which, quite coincidentally, Tash covered very nicely in Glow in the Woods.

I like Greys Anantomy, even though it is a ridiculous soap opera. I like it because it is a ridiculous soap opera that just happens to be set in a hospital. Who cares of the science and medicine is a little dodgy (the cancer? the FACE transplant?! Please.). I'm not watching for that. But Private Practice? Well, there are precious few places where infertility, baby loss, grief, the whole she-bang are covered in pop culture. Grieving parents, desperate want to be parents - all fodder for a soap opera. And maybe it pisses me off that PP gets it so wrong. They don't even come close to getting it right. And it's quality actors, a quality show, and it's....wrong. Wrong wrong wrong. On so many fronts. A fertility doctor that doesn't even consider the possibility of terminations. A surgeon that would even consider sleeping with a vulnerable patient's husband. A ridiculous mish mash of doctors that don't even seem to work right professionally. All set in a fertility/wellness clinic. In a world where pregnancy, infertility, grief and family building are so misunderstood, can't they get anything right? Any little piece of it?

And then there's this storyline, of a ambivalent mother (a previous victim of a violent rape) being victimized in such a horrifying way. Conscious, telling her attacker how to cut her open to remove the baby safely. It turns my stomach to think of watching it tonight, though the producers have made it clear the show picks up 20 minutes from where it ended - the butchery over, the baby gone, the mother clinging to life. Will they write off this pregnancy by having the baby not survive? My stomach is churning even typing those words. I don't think I can watch. I don't think I can not watch.

The other issue from the finale is the infidelity. The male half has signed onto another show, and won't appear on PP, so it seems that'll just end. I hope, anyway. It was so distastefully done - the wife, on bedrest, with a desperately wanted pregnancy, her disgusting horny husband on the prowl, divining true love in a few lustful exchanges. Ugly, selfish, grotesque people.

But, the network must be doing something right, as I will probably watch. But I may yet retreat into the safety of a less upsetting, more escapist soap opera, and wait for a time where a more realistic protrayal of family building is created. Beaue there is drama. There is heartbreak, There is love. It could be done right. Or it can be done sloppily, and grotesquely.

So what about you? Watching? Any other baby loss stories in pop culture got your attention?

Season finale

Well, thank goodness last night was the season finale of Private Practice. One less thing to fret about over the next few months. Oh, right, except for the new fretting about whether crazy patient will cut open Judging Amy and steal her unborn baby.

Yep. Unborn baby cutting and stealing. A new low for this show, on a night of many lows. Actually, for a while I thought Shondra Rimes (exec producer) had come to her senses and was going to have Addison character act honorably. Main character Addison and horny cardiac surgeon met and agreed they hadn't actually commited any sin except for coveting each other. (Gag). Cardiac doctor who just needs to get some decided he would tell his wife he loved addison, thus ensuring Addison would be reprimanded and suspended by state medical liscensing board for unprofessional behavior- what? Oh, wait, sorry, not part of storyline. Luckily, through dramatic machinations, Addison decided she could not let horny cardiac surgeon tell his wife and storyline seemed to be over, but there were still 20 minutes left in the show so sadly, she went to horny surgeons office, where they totally jumped each other all the way to pants being unzipped and possible male parts inserted into female parts when suddenly Adidson's (and now really horny cardiac surgeon's) pagers went off, signaling the wife was in labor and ready to deliver. Addison left the delivery room in mid contraction to find male midwife to tell him he had to deliver the baby that would make a family. And then she cried. So maybe she will do the honorable thing and we won't see any of the horny doctor (who will still be horny as a new first time mom isn't exactly thinking about servicing the husband, you know?), who may just fall in love with his baby and realize he almost screwed up his entire family all because he wasn't getting any from his stressed out dead baby momma complete pelvic rest to avoid third dead baby wife. Whew!

So, back to crazy mental patient. I have to admit this story actually got to me. While extremely rare, there are these cases of crazy people fixating on pregnant women and following them and cutting them open and stealing the baby. There was a well publicized one someplace in the south when I was pregnant with my daughter (so summer '05) that totally freaked me out and became Yet Another Thing To Worry About, so last night when I was having trouble sleeping I could not get visions of poor judging Amy laying on the floor telling crazy woman how to best cut her open out of my head (Amy had realized futitily of situation, could not dissuade crazy mental patient, so decided to talk her through the c-section so baby would survive). Now I have the summer to wonder if Judging Amy woman (what is her name on the show? Something silly. Violet, that's it.) is going to be killed off or miraculously saved. Seriously, as soon as her doorbell rang, I was thinking, it's the creepy crazy lady, don't answer the door! It's her, SLAM the door! Do not step closer to her - oh, damn, crazy lady injected you. So, aside from strange potion that renders you immobile and unfeeling from the neck down for many, many hours without wearing off even a tad as crazy mental patient slaps you around and talks your ear off, this was a pretty upsetting story. I actually kind of hope they don't kill her off. If for no other reason than the my two dads scenario playing out next season will be excruciating - remember Violet doesn't know which of two men is the father and refused to have testing done while pregnant. Although, actually, the non-main character possible father could turn out to be the dad, and move away with the baby and his grief, thus neatly wrapping up this storyline, getting rid of annoying Judging Amy character, and leaving major character (and hottie) Tim Daly to continue to be available hot guy for new storylines. So yeah, maybe I see how this is going to go. Though, still, death by crazy lady cutting you open while you're concious but paralyzed to steal your baby is a particularly bad way to go and I do not wish that on this character. I'd rather have character come back and be less annoying than have the story go this way. So I guess I do get to wonder about this all summer. While looking for spoilers.

And the rest of the storylines were incredibly annoying and pointless. Really annoying big bosomed doctor quit the practice to run a new practice (in the same building on the floor above), right after she figured out someone she switched embryos before transferring them into the wrong mothers. Oops, hate it when that happens, luckily she was able to convince mothers to carry each other's babies. There was even talk of termination, before the show stepped way, way back from that (ZOMG! Network censors! Sponsor boycotts!) edge and back into we are all happy baby makers here territory. (and big bosomed doctor figured it out because one baby carried the marker for a genetic disease, but whew, not actual disease. That would have been messy).

So, anyone besides Andiamo watch? Will Violet be saved to embrace happiness next year? Send any spoilers my way. (And who plays the crazy mental baby stealing woman? She looks so familiar. I'll have to find out so I can mis-identify her next year, too.)

avoid

I absolutely, positively cannot read or watch anything that involves kidnapped children. I bought at the thrift store for $1 a copy of The Stolen Child. It looks interesting, but not for me, right now. Maybe in 20 years. I'd also like to read What the Dead Know, by Laura Lippman, but also not for me.

The rest, though? Stuff related to my life? I actually tend to get sucked in, even with the pit of dread of my stomach.

Private Practice, though, just infuriates me. I really enjoy Grey's Anatomy. Even though it is ridiculous. Storyline about the face transplant? Absolutely laughingly ridiculous, but it was used to get Izzie to tell her friends about her cancer, so fine, good metaphor, and who cares that it made no sense from a medical perspective, it's a soap opera. I feel that way about law shows, cop shows, science shows (the rare ones) - who cares? It's escapism entertainment, they're getting the broad outlines ok, so just enjoy the story. But Private Practice? Where to even begin. The sanctimonious jerk of a pediatrician? The Amy Brenneman character who walks all hunched over with too much eye makeup and ridiculous fake pregnancy? I don't remember her being that hunched up and annoying in Judging Amy. So she's intentionally playing the character that way? The prolife fertility doctor? I'm with Wabi, give me a freaking break. The fact there seem to be no patients in the clinic? No nurses? (No wonder the practice is in financial trouble.) No bulletin boards of smiling baby pics? The "feel good" doctor who diagnoses cancer and doesn't send his patient to a specialist? No background happening except for the central characters? Are they that cash poor they can't afford extras?

And then there's Addison. OK, here's her backstory. She's a OB/GYN surgeon, married in NY to a brain surgeon. He has no time for her, she has an affair with his best friend. Husband leaves her, moves to Seattle, and thus Grey's Anatomy begins with him hooking up with Meredith in the first episode. Addison gets pregnant from best friend, has abortion, move to Seattle to save her marriage. Best friend (plastic surgeon, he of the bad face transplant storyline) moves out to Seattle to get her back. Husband rejects her for Meredith Grey. Addison rejects plastic surgeon. She visits her friend fertility doctor in LA to see if she could have a baby and through the marvels of modern technology, learns she has no eggs left. None. Zippo. So she moves to LA, spinning off Private Practice, to start a new life.

This most recent storyline - she has a patient who has lost at least two pregnancies, one at 7 months. Patient's marriage is in trouble. Addison puts her on pelvic rest, no sex, promises to see her through. Meanwhile, Addison washes her hands at the surgical area three times over two months and meets a heart surgeon who falls in love with her after brief inane exchanges of conversation. Shocking plot twist - heart surgeon is husband of pregnant patient. Heart surgeon expresses love, says he'll stay away. Addison resists by blinding repeating, "I'm not a cheater." She lets it slip she has feelings for heart surgeon, too. Last episode, heart surgeon shows up at her door like a creepy stalker and they partake of one passionate kiss before she pushes him away and closes door behind him. Oh, and earlier pregnant patient begs Addison to save her and the baby to save her marriage, before her heart stops and heart surgeon saves own wife.

Yeah. I watch this show, still, despite how stupid it is, because it's supposed to be entertaining escapism, and I like the Addison actress - she's very striking and wears good clothes and shoes (escapism!). And she was strong and tough as nails when she was a character on Grey's Anatomy. She was at the top of her game professionally, strong personally, and interesting. All this shit (infidelity, marriage break up, abortion, infertility) happened to the character over the course of about two years. That is a lot of shit. A vertible hell of a shitstorm. And yet, she's managed to make it through all that without realizaing one shred of self awareness or gaining one ounce of maturity. Because if she learned anything, from any one of those experiences, it would have made her turn to heart surgon and say, "look, your marriage is tough right now. You're not having sex. You've been through a lot with this woman. You need to feel close to someone right now, and you're grasping at me. But this is not real, this is not based on anything other than trying to escape what's been happening between you and your wife, and you need to man up, straighten out, get your priorities in order, see your wife through this pregnancy, get some counseling, and get your life in order. Not transfer all these feelings onto someone else who seems fresh and new and without troubles, but I've got troubles too and I'm not interested in compounding my own troubles by getting involvved with someone in your position."

Because. If she really learned NOTHING whatsoever about herself, her life, her priorities, her place in the world - after having an affair, having an abortion, having her husband leave her, and being diagnosed with infertility - then, frankly, she's not a very interesting character at all.