Wednesday, December 30, 2009


Well, I survived. It was.....fine. That's the best word I can come up with, I think.

Non confrontational people are perfectly fine to spend time with, as it happens. Because there aren't any, you know, confrontations.

So after two years, we show up at the kids place, everyone hugs (! yes! Hugs! Even me!), says hi, and....that's it. We have a perfectly normal day hanging out. Weird.

I thought there was some coolness directed my way, but it wasn't too obvious.

What happens next? Who the hell knows. At one point when we were briefly alone, my sister in law leaned over to me and said, she's heavily medicated these days, it'll be fine.

I guess the trick will be keeping them at a reasonable distance and not getting sucked into expectations for future obligations.

I did fail in my one goal. I had decided my goal was to call my inlaws something. After ten years of marriage, plus 3, nearly 4 years before that, my in-laws still expect me to call them Mr and Mrs. So yesterday I decided I was gonig to walk up to them and say, Betty, FRank, nice to see you again.

I chickened out. Got by 4 hours without calling them anything. Fail. Maybe next time.

What do you call your inlaws?


k@lakly said...

What do I call my inlaws? Assholes.
But of course, we don't deal with them at all so it's easy...
Glad the day wasn't too bad. After all you've been through I think you are more than entitled to call them by thier first names. What are they going to do to you if you do? Ground you? They haven't earned the respect they demand so if I were you I wouldn't give it to them.
Hope 2010 brings much joy to you and yours:)

Tash said...

Haha, I'm with Kal. When I'm not in an even more pissy mood. That is just absurd -- I call them by their first names, although my BIL's wife calls my MIL "mom" (there is some history there, as her own mom kinda fled the coop when she was young, so she never really *had* one), which I know is her own deal but I also know THRILLS my MIL and there is NO FUCKING WAY that's ever coming out of my mouth. Ever.

Sounds like one of our get-togethers -- everyone just ignores the big elephant because no one wants to bare their feelings and have an adult discussion. I'm sure your SIL being on meds helped the situation enormously. How to get my IL's on meds is the question.

Sue said...

Go with their first names, when not referring to them as something else under your breath.

casey said...

im dying to know-how'd they treat your son??

i call my in-laws by their first names. they wouldnt want me to call them mom and dad and i refuse to call them mr and mrs because for me and them, that'd be subservience because theyre asswipes in that respect, lol.

Nixy said...

I also use my in laws first names. I think that it's ridiculous they expect you to call them mr and mrs. And I don't know anyone else who does (although I'm sure that there are a few out there...)

Happy New Year!

Anonymous said...

I call my MIL by her first name, dh calls my mom by her first name (we did the same for the FIL before they passed). On the other hand my SIL calls my mom Mrs., but she first met my mom/started dating my brother when she was 13 and all of my brother's friends (girlfriend or otherwise) were calling my parents Mr/Mrs at that point. She says it would just be too weird to call my mom by her first name.

Anonymous said...

Ah you should totally freak them out and call them mum and dad next time you see them!

I call my in laws by their first names.

Astarte said...

First, I'm just catching up, and I'm so, so sorry about your dog. Even doing the right thing is a terrible thing to have to do, and my heart goes out to you.

Second, I make the same choice with my ILs every time there's an Event - not go, and know that my kids are with them without me, which makes me sick, or go, and be with them myself, which also makes me sick, but in a different way. I do the same as you, and go, because of the kids, and it's usually Fine, too, but it still sucks donkey ass.

Third, I waver on what I call DH's parents. Sometimes it's mom and dad, and sometimes it's by their names. NEVER Mr. or Mrs. THAT'S ridiculous. But, what do you expect from people who are more upset over a dog than a child?