40 + 4

Still stuck on the birthday theme. It's not often you cross a major milestone, so it's a period of reflection and looking ahead.

Aurelia wrote a great post about turning 40 - she's ahead of me by 6 days. She listed a few vows she made for her 40th year. Or wait, it's actually our 41st year, right, cause there's that zero year in there? I'm always confused by that. So here are my resolutions.

Like Aurelia, I want a muscle. Several of them, to be exact. I've gotten myself in sort-of shape before. I've never been really in shape, but I've had muscle, and I know I can again. Part of it is vanity, of course. My calves the past few years have really grown. I was whining to a friend yesterday that my fall/winter look is tall boots, dark tights, and knee length skirts. But there's no way I'm cramming these calves into boots this fall and probably not much of the winter either. So what to wear? But also I want arm muscles. I have no upper body strength at all and I want that to change. I can't (even when not pregnant) pull myself out of a pool, for example. But a lot of this is health related too. With two small kids, as an older mom, i want to be able to keep up with them. I don't want to sit on the couch and watch TV with them, I want to be out and about exploring the world with them. So this resolution is for me, for my husband (he'd like a more toned wife, too), and my kid(s). I can do this. I know I can.

I want to be happily married - or not married. Which means starting up the counseling again. We need to work through our issues, not just hope that time will take care of the hurt. It won't, and our marriage, and our child(ren)'s lives will suffer because of it. I want to heal, one way or another, and I know it's a long process, but I can be an active part.

I want to be out of debt. I just put this aside during much of my money worries this summer, but part of the money worries is that we're carrying credit card debt. That has to end.

This of course requires getting a job. I'm working on it. Had an interview this week and I really think it went well. I had to do a two-page idea paper for another job (interview in September) and I just finished it and e-mailed it off. Fingers crossed.

And finally, I want to be organized. I want this house organized. I know that's a tall order, given how much CRAP we have, but I've made progress this summer, and honestly, to put a baby in here we have to make much more progress. I work best against a deadline, so by November we'll have the front bedroom cleaned out, the attic remodel done, and more progress in the basement. We'll get there.

I have to end this the same way Aurelia did - 40 is going to be a kick ass year for me.