poked and prodded

Whew. Finally finished with a grueling week of the poking and prodding. Yesterday was the HSG. I think my nervous anticipation was worse than the actual experience. Especially when the tech said, ok, if it reaches a point where you can't handle it, just tell us and we'll slow down.
Wha? Can't handle??

So at one point I said, huh, ok, starting to feel something now and they laughed and said we're almost done.

Results - normal.

I need to schedule an appointment with the RE and go over everything. I know the HSG showed a perfectly fine uterus and fine fallopian tubes. I know the sonogram showed smallish (what the doctor called aging) ovaries. And that's all I know right now.

Maybe Friday, maybe Monday for the appointment to review everything. I stupidly save the blood work (beyond the Day 3 hormones) for today, so that's going to take a few days to come in.

We talked yesterday briefly about what we'd want to do. Ahead of hearing options, did we have ideas about how far we'd be willing to take this. Donor eggs or sperm are out. IVF might be out. IUI seems ok, clomid is a maybe. But that's as far as we got.

Secondary infertility is tough. Yes, I have a child. I've experienced it. But my child so clearly is fascinated by babies. She'd be such a great older sister. And selfishly, just like so many, I never thought it would be hard for me. I spent time, and spend time, with my daughter trying to treasure the moment. But I didn't do it thinking it wouldn't happen again. I saved every last piece of baby gear planning for a second time. I will feel cheated if I don't get it.

I have to say though, there's a huge part of me that feels like this is it. I don't know, of course, but yet I feel it. I hope I'm wrong.

And, now I've been memed! By two - the "list" and the 6 things. Suddenly feeling popular, which makes me pleased. I'm a sucker. But now I have my posts for tomorrow and Thursday lined up. Which keeps me from blogging about how ridiculous things got last week in my job. Garr.