status quo

Back when my marriage was imploding, the stress and anxiety used to wake me up at 4 am. My witching hour. I guess that was the minimum amount of sleep I needed to function, and my body was too tense to allow me any more. I hated that middle of the night anxiety, restlessness, staring out at the darkness worrying. once we decided to work on the marriage, it was back to my normal 8-9 hours a night.

Last night I woke up at 4:30, worrying about the job wrap up. Still no word from anyone at the job, but I had written their lawyer I would be home Wednesday morning and to call me at 10. So from 4:30 - 6 am I went over and over and over the situation, the things I wanted to say, the things I thought he would say, the regrets, the what the hell am I going to do now, the endless racing of the mind.

Luckily I finally calmed down enough to fall back asleep, then my daughter was up at 6:30. UGH. Again luckily, I had done the last series of early morning wake ups, so my husband got the early duty, and I slept til 8. And was tense and nervous all morning, my palms started sweating at 9:50, my heart raced until 10:15, when I finally said this is ridiculous and started organizing all the stuff to pack up. I left the house at 11:30 and didn't return til 5:30. Stupid lawyer had called at 2:30. If I didn't know he was so disorganized, I'd think he was trying to freeze me out. Screw him. But I hope I sleep tonight.

So what's your best middle of the night, calm yourself down cure?