Thursday, May 8, 2008

Ouch

The CVS is done. Thank god.

The last time, it was fast - needle in, a little twinge, and pull out. Easy peasy, a piece of pie. A bit of uncomfortable cramping, but all in all a non event, for something I dreaded so much.

This time? Not so much.

As they say, every pregnancy is different. I had a c-section with my daughter's birth. And the placement of this placenta was right in an area where the scar ran through. So, insertion of needle. Pressure. More pressure, which quickly turned to pain. A lot of pain. Clenching my husband's hand while tears of pain streamed down my face pain. A LOT of rooting around with the needle, moving it, trying to find the right spot. A LOT of the tip of the needle bumping against something (scar?) that wouldn't let it go further.

As the doctor said after, there are times when every bit of my skill and experience is needed, and this was one of them.

She did manage to get a small, but good quality, sample. She thinks it will be enough and the cells will grow well. Results possibly by Monday the 19th. Maybe.

If this sample doesn't work, I'm telling you I'm taking my chances and not doing another. No way. If she had to go back in for a second sample I might have refused.

The good news is no cramping at all, but my abdomen is just flat out sore. It hurts. But the baby sailed through seemingly without noticing a thing.

So here's the thing. I've been searching for the perfectly turned phrase, the way to talk about this, and not finding it. Let's be real here. You don't really do genetic testing to make sure everything is ok. You do it to make sure nothing is wrong. And everyone says to you, don't do the testing unless you're willing to do something about the results. What are you willing to do if the results show genetic abnormalities? What am I willing to do this time? I stared that question in the face last time. And, what I'm willing to do this time may, or may not, be different. So I violated the cardinal rule of genetic testing. I had this test done without knowing what I would do. I had this test done today because I want, against all odds and common sense and experience, a shiny happy pregnancy. As much as I don't want to admit it, I have hope that everything is ok, and I want that reassurance. After everything, I'm still hopeful. Yeah, I overlooked the procedure itself (not realizing how damn fucking painful it could be - that is not in any of the literature!), and have my eyes firmly on the results.

4 comments:

Tash said...

Fuck, ow. If there's a next time for me, I'm doing this and not looking forward.

I personally think that's bullshit that you have to know what you'll do in advance. For me, I have to KNOW, that's why I test. what I do with those results then is up to me, but I need to KNOW. I cannot/will not be blindsided. I need to prepare myself and family, no matter what my choice is, and let's face it: IF the answers are bad, they can vary greatly in degrees of badness which may impact what you decide to do.

In other words, breathe. I'm the last one to listen to this advice, but there really is no use worrying until you know something.

Hanging with ya.

CLC said...

Ouch. Doesn't sound like a pleasant experience. I hope you get that shiny happy pregnancy too.

G said...

I'm with Tash, I dont think you have to know what you will do going in. Knowledge gives you some semblance of control. Even if that is the only thing you have decided going in.

Glad it's over. I will be praying the results are fine.

Antigone said...

So you may find the results out today? That's pretty quick. Your test must have been sent to a good lab. A lab where the paperwork doesn't sit on a pathologist's desk for two weeks.