Wednesday, May 28, 2008

status quo

Back when my marriage was imploding, the stress and anxiety used to wake me up at 4 am. My witching hour. I guess that was the minimum amount of sleep I needed to function, and my body was too tense to allow me any more. I hated that middle of the night anxiety, restlessness, staring out at the darkness worrying. once we decided to work on the marriage, it was back to my normal 8-9 hours a night.

Last night I woke up at 4:30, worrying about the job wrap up. Still no word from anyone at the job, but I had written their lawyer I would be home Wednesday morning and to call me at 10. So from 4:30 - 6 am I went over and over and over the situation, the things I wanted to say, the things I thought he would say, the regrets, the what the hell am I going to do now, the endless racing of the mind.

Luckily I finally calmed down enough to fall back asleep, then my daughter was up at 6:30. UGH. Again luckily, I had done the last series of early morning wake ups, so my husband got the early duty, and I slept til 8. And was tense and nervous all morning, my palms started sweating at 9:50, my heart raced until 10:15, when I finally said this is ridiculous and started organizing all the stuff to pack up. I left the house at 11:30 and didn't return til 5:30. Stupid lawyer had called at 2:30. If I didn't know he was so disorganized, I'd think he was trying to freeze me out. Screw him. But I hope I sleep tonight.

So what's your best middle of the night, calm yourself down cure?

8 comments:

CLC said...

Spoons with my husband. Or amb.i.en. Trying to not do that anymore though.

The lawyer sounds like a moron.

Antigone said...

I take a hot shower. Afterward, I'm able to crawl back into bed and get some sleep.

I'm glad you weren't there when asshat JD called.

k@lakly said...

Scotch:)

Tash said...

Reading on the couch. Extremely boring television.

Am I doing okay? said...

benadryl or creative visualization

kween of everything said...

seriouly wb?

an orgasm. anyway you can get it. i fall right back to sleep.

iaw clc, the whole organization sounds like its ran by chimps.

Lisse said...

Writing it out.

niobe said...

I tell myself that no worthwhile thought has ever occured to anyone at 4 in the morning.

I can't always get back to sleep, but I'm able to stop my mind from running in circles.