Pregnancy makes you crazy. Well, it makes me crazy. That, and every other piece of crap that's happened to me over the past few years. Which is why I totally lost it Thursday night after Grey's Anatomy. But that's the next post (current posts in draft form: 5).
This post is about my job. I have developed a sudden, I hope irrational fear that I am going to be fired. On Tuesday.
Last Friday - the 8th - I had a very frustrating conversation with the top three people. I hung up (I'm the first person in this location, so lots over the phone) totally and completely ready to quit, and fumed all weekend long. But things were pretty good this past week. It's busy, as with any start up, and I spend far too much time doing administrative stuff that's got to be done (hello potential assistants, insurance brokers, HR specialists, etc) to get us functional. And a lot of time ensuring the basics of our work are actually workable. Not so much time prepping for a public launch, because we're not ready for that yet. But I worry the higher ups think I'm doing nothing and not focusing on the launch. The launch is there in my brain, and everything we're doing now helps inform how we can successfully launch, but until we get the basics down, really, what can I do? Focus on getting the basics done has been my strategy.
One weird thing last week - I felt I sent a ton of e-mails and got extremely minimal responses. Then another bigwig sent me an e-mail asking for something and was upset (and the jerk cc'ed two other higher ups!) when I said we didn't have it yet (though I explained we had a process and I'd have it by mid-June).
Then, one of the top higher ups e-mailed me Saturday and said let's get together this coming Tuesday as she was in town for just one night. With the lawyer. I asked about bringing the newly hired assistant, and the response was no, "just us."
So, in my paranoid brain I'm being fired on Tuesday. OK, I'm leaving out that she actually typed "just us this time." My paranoia has me convinced she put the this time to lull me.
Seriously. I really need the crazy to stop.
1 day ago