The Board decided not to renew my contact. That's it cut and dried.
I've been kind of cagey about this position, but I guess no need to right now, except to still guard my anonymity. I was hired to be the executive director of a non-profit. The non-profit started as an internal foundation within a corporation, and the corporation decided to make it a stand alone non-profit, funded by a large initial donation. I was hired as a consultant to the corporation, with the idea that after I got it up and running, I'd become an employee. So I've been working on a monthly contract.
I met today with the lawyer and the corporate representative, who is also a Board member. I saw this coming, so thank god I was able to be composed and level-headed. But don't get me wrong I'm devastated. And surprised. And just really disappointed for this cause, too. I believed in what I was doing.
I pressed them both hard to give me reasons, and they spoke double speak that never really clarified anything. Since my contract was up, the Board felt it was a good time to reassess the entire project and the corporation really wasn't sure how it wanted to proceed. There was unhappiness with me, but they wouldn't give me any feedback at all. None. The lawyer did say he had been asked to have this conversation with me, not a conversation to remmediate anything.
My contract runs through the early part of each month. So I'm to close everything up in the next few days, pass along to the lawyer, and they'll pay me the full month. I am proud I said look, I left a very secure position and knew there were risks, but this isn't really adequate notice. The lawyer said he'd take my concerns back to the Board.
So here I am, 13 weeks pregnant, I hope with a viable pregnancy (though still no word from the CVS, argh). And out of work. What the hell am I going to do. And how the hell am I going to explain this? I think I'll explain it by saying the corporation pulled funding, but still. This is Not Good.
The best thing to do might be to play the stay at home mom card. Try and find some consulting work, let the nanny go, and just see if I can handle being a stay at home mom. I really thought it would be good to have the nanny around when/if #2 was born. I don't know if that will be possible. I don't know how that will work, though. There's a whole nanny network in my neighborhood and all my daughter's friends are other kids cared for by nannies who all hang out together. If we let the nanny go, it's not like the other nannies will want to hang out with me! So how unfair is this to my daughter.
Ugh. I'm too shocked right now to think straight, that's for sure. I don't know how to start saying goodbye to the new friends I have made, much less what to do next. This sucks.
I am really trying to not sink into feeling like a failure.
3 days ago