Monday, May 12, 2008

realizations

It suddenly occurred to me that my in-laws hadn't sent me a Mother's Day card, as they have since my daughter was born.

Then it occurred to me that this was proof that they were blaming me and hated me.

And then I thought, why the hell do I spend so much of my life worrying about people liking me? Specifically these people?

Please like me disease, I think it's called, and I've got a bad case. I guess because of my daughter, I'm inextricably linked to them. While they're bad, they specialize in hovering right in the gray area of bad but not cut out of your life completely bad. I'm going to have to not only see them again, but hug them and kiss them and buy presents for them and spend time in their house and interact with them. And I simply do. Not. Want. To. Do not. When I thought I was getting a divorce, the number one entry in the pro category was never have to spend time with in-laws again. How awful is it I wish they'd really cross over into doing something really, really bad?

5 comments:

Tash said...

Huh, hadn't thought of divorce. Hmm.

Last year I didn't get cards because I think everyone was tiptoeing around it; this year I didn't get any because I think they just steamrolled over it. I don't care about them either, and now that they've also made it so we have to meet on their turf makes me livid. The whole thing stinks.

Let me know what you end up doing. I'm all ears.

Janette105 said...

After my sister-in-law wrote my parents a second "hate" email, we all stopped talking to her and my brother. My mom and I both agree that it's actually a relief. For 13 years we had to worry about if and when a bomb would go off at whatever family function that happened to be coming up. I miss my brother but it's kinda the old-brother-that-I-grew-up-with bro that I miss and not this ball-less wonder that actually supported his wife's hate letter. The saddest part is they have 2 kids that I haven't seen in 4 years, ages 9 and 10 (I still send gifts and cards and letters). I feel your pain. Hang in there!

CLC said...

That stinks. I am so sorry you have to deal with in-laws like that. They need to be knocked upside the head, I think. I just don't get how they can be that cruel. I guess I am too naive.

Anonymous said...

It's not awful to wish that, but it's also not good. My inlaws have crossed the line, but they're still the only parents my poor husband has. The good news is that they're HIS parents, not mine. So I don't hug and kiss or attend most of the events. I hope you can find a way to limit your interaction with them as well.

Antigone said...

But wouldn't it be liberating to be equally obnoxious? At a minimum it would be a good exercise.