Wow. Last night the little man was up from 2-7 am. UP. He slept for about 20 minutes at 3 and again at 6. Brutal. So instead of a thoughtful treatise on my inlaws or finally commenting on some thought provoking posts I've read recently, or outlining the travails of marriage, I'll talk about something I really don't talk much about in real life. The weight/body image. I've been more honest on this blog about my weight struggles than I ever am in real life. I might say sometimes I want to fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes, or bemoan with other women the general body stuff women do when they get together, but in general I don't talk about it much.
I really, really want to be more healthy and energetic and that translate into weight loss. Plus I want to fit into older clothes again. I dress very conservatively, so yeah, a pair of black trousers or a white top from 4 years ago is still going to be in style today.
I spent most of the end of 2007 at 173 pounds, so we'll consider that my starting weight. I gained a lot in the early days of pregnancy, but that slowed down - my final weight was 211. Bleah. About a week after delivering my ten-pound baby, while still bloated and retaining a lot of water, I made what might be considered a stupid mistake and stepped on the scale - and it read 202. What the hell? How do you have a ten pound baby and only lose 9 pounds? But, it wasn't a mistake in that I knew I was at the peak of bloatedness and all that would come off quickly, and it has. This morning I weighed in at 188, having spent the last few week weighing myself every day and watching it just drop off. There's definitely something gratifying about the early days of breastfeeding, when the weight really does slough off quickly.
I remember with my daughter, when I went for the 6-week check up, the doctor said, ok, you've lost all you're going to lose in just plain old your body shedding pregnancy weight. Whatever you lose from here on out is about you working to lose weight. Which was pretty true. I'd really like to be in my non-maternity clothes by the baby's baptism, which we've scheduled for December 28th. Wait, I've just realized that's only 2.5 weeks away. So no way will I be 173, I must be realistic. But maybe I can hit 180 or 179. I was in the mid 180s when the shit hit the fan with my husband last year, so at least, while I'm not happy about how I look, I should have some things that fit.
I've been cutting out most sweets and most dairy, hoping that might help him sleep better, and that definitely helps with the weight. So if I keep it up, who knows. I'll keep you posted.
Tell me, in real life, do you talk openly about getting in shape/losing weight/poor body image? Or are you comfortable in your own skin? (I hope you are!) Or do you keep it all - whether good or bad - private?
1 day ago