Thursday, June 4, 2009

brother in law reappears

My husband tells me yesterday he got an e-mail from his brother, asking if we could get together. E-mail says don't blow me off, let's find a time, we can meet in the middle (they live 2 hours away).

My husband wrote him back and said July was crazy and we had a narrow window in June where we could make this happen.

I would like to write a catch-up post to lay out the rough outline of the inlaw saga to keep it all straight. But the little guy was up at 5:30 am and I am tired. Too tired to think about the stupid inlaws. And definitely too tired to search past posts and find the right links. In the in-law saga, my brother in law has been a bit of a puzzle. Let's see, if this all started in December 07, he was neutral or supportive for most of the first bit - actually until the final blowup (ok, one link) with the parents in law, just before Little Guy was born. But, as far as I know, there was no announcement he was mad at us. He and my hsuband had been in sporadic, yet semi-regular (ie, normal) contact leading up November. After the birth in November, BIL's wife sent us a card and present, and then sent us a Christmas package. We sent them a package. Which they did not return. My husband called their house on Christmas Day and BIL was in bed, but chatted just fine with his wife. But since then, nothing. As far as I know.

I konw I am beyond tired right now (and was yesterday, too). But I also know this contact from my BIL is contributing to a bad mood. I so hate dealing with them. I so wish they would go away. Popping up every once in a while is stressful. We'll see where this goes. My current strategy is just to live my life and not own any of their craziness. Do you have a good coping strategy for letting go of other's craziness? Of not letting it get to you?


Anonymous said...

My in-laws? SUCK. In fact, despite having emailed with you in the past, I am afraid to even sign my own name lest they be cyber stalking me. I have no assvice except to say that if you let it own you, then they win. Can't let that happen, especially after how far you've come. I'd take it all with a grain of salt, and, as my mom says, "consider the source."

Casey AKA

Tash said...

I'm no help. We see my FIL so periodically now it's laughable (seriously, he lives 45 minutes away from his granddaughter, and only sees her 2-3x/year??!!). It's almost worst seeing them sporadically then it is either sucking it up and seeing them all the time, or just having them bow out and leave us the hell alone.

I guess I'm all for meeting, especially if they're the ones instigating this (I actually take that as a really good sign), but go in with your head held high and a united front, and know that you have nothing to apologize for.

Good luck. this all blows.

Jo said...

Learning to let go is what I'm struggling with right now. I wish I could tell you how it's done, but I am most definitely NOT the source to consult on that one! All I can do is commiserate and tell you that our families suck, too. Both mine and my husbands' have branches that would be better off pruned. . .until then, we do what we can with those who are willing and say to hell with the rest.


CLC said...

I got no advice. Good luck with the visit. Will be curious to hear what he wants.

Am I doing okay? said...

Where is my comment? Was I unsuccessful? Or was it intentionally offensive?

I'd suggested you let your husband go to the meeting and you take the afternoon off at a movie or similar.

Astarte said...

That's a tough one. It's so hard to let things go when they really, truly upset you. Sometimes I find, honestly, that saying a little prayer for patience and strength helps. I mean, it can't hurt. That, or try to get yourself a mantra and repeat it when you find yourself obsessing.

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