Wednesday, February 20, 2008

10 things I don't get

So this meme has been floating around a while. Clever Niobe, Meg, and Tash have all done it. I was going to be all fancy and have pictures and youtube and whatnot, but then decided I just needed to post it, for gosh sake, since I wrote this weeks ago.

I have another meme I have got to do - as soon as I think of a cool-ish thing I could give away. But since I am in possession of original Niobe photos, the guilt I haven't done my part is growing.

Anyway, here are 10 things I don't get. In no particular order.

1. People who insist on driving in the left lane. All. The. Time. MOVE! OVER!

2. Frying potatoes is a high form of gastronomic art, where it be frites or hashbrowns slung at the local diner. Tatertots? Not so much.

3. Coffee

4. Electricity – I don’t get energy making at all. Stored energy, potential energy, the whole thing. Come the apocalypse, should I survive, I’d have nothing to offer in rebuilding society.

5. Waxing – we’re concerned about pedophilia in this country, and we wax off any hair the makes us look like adults, not pre-pubescents? And now men are waxing? Are you kidding me? (full disclosure – I like smooth legs a lot. Leg shaving is a must. Call me a hypocrite. And I trim, don’t get me wrong. And tidying up the legs, ok. It’s the bare/landing strip look I don’t get.)

6. People who don’t believe in evolution. Look, I don’t get electricity, but clearly it works. Same thing. And Sherri Sheppard? Don’t get me started. Yes, I know she clarified the next day, but she’s still an idiot.

7. People who mix up it’s and its. I’m sorry if I offend, but it’s not hard. If in doubt, simply read the sentence replacing it’s with it is. If ‘it is’ makes sense, it’s it’s. If ‘it is’ does not make sense, it’s its (this is far simpler than it appears in type). The same applies to your and you’re. There are many confusing rules in English grammar. This is not one of them.

8. Why The Amazing Race always wins the Emmy for best reality show, over say, Project Runway. Admittedly, I’ve never watched The Amazing Race, but Project Runway! The drama! The pressure! The tears! Tim Gunn! Heidi! Auf Wiedersehen! Genius.

9. The evolutionary benefits of teething. Why does it take two years? And cause such misery and exhaustion?

10. Chardonnay


niobe said...

I'm laughing at your (not you're) explanation of its/it's. I think the confusion stems from the fact that "its" is possessive and words signifying possession often include apostrophes. But still.

CLC said...

How can you not like coffee? I cannot live without it!!!

Which Box said...

Coffee smells great, I'll grant you that. I've tried, but I just don't get it. Not at all. It's tea all the way.

meg said...

Such a good list. I am a tea convert now. But I always loved both tea and coffee.

I love the amazing race and I hate all reality T.V. (but also love project runway). If you like it, you'll like the amazing race too. Promise.

And know what I think of waxing (it was also on my list!!!)

Tash said...

I am going to STRENUOUSLY object and try and make you get #2, 3, and 8. Fries, a cuppa Joe, and Phil on the Mat are three of my favorite things in life, things that make me get up in the morning and get through my day. I bet, I just bet, I could find you a good cup, some *real* fries (not McDonalds bullshit), and start you out with Season One of TAR, and get you involved. I really do. If I had time. (I do love PR, though, just for the record.)

But 9? and 5? (And I just got a wax yesterday! And said I didn't want that for THAT VERY REASON!) I'm so with you there.

Antigone said...

If I wax, I look younger and more able to bare healthy children. But if I wax too much then I look sexually immature and incapable of reproduction. *sigh*