Monday, February 11, 2008

back from the woods

Back from our weekend away in the country. I've written before that I'm from a small town. A teeny, tiny classic small town America. And now I live in the big city. Urbanite? Small town girl? Which box am I? I'm at home in both. Probably more urbanite than small town these days, but the lure of the country is strong.

Driving out, exiting city traffic, feeling time slow down, watching countryside roll by - it just felt good. Like a weight lifting, or taking a deep breath of fresh air.

The park where we stayed was really isolated. We rented a "modern cabin" that had a kitchen including microwave, oil heat, a bathroom with shower (and great water pressure!), a huge fireplace......just a perfect snug little place to be. Stupidly, we hadn't looked at a map before we left, just followed the directions, but luckily we decided we didn't want to go out to eat, we wanted to cook in all our meals and so we brought all we needed. Which was a good thing as there was NOTHING around. No popping to Starbucks for an afternoon coffee, much less a mini market for an essential - at least not without at least a ten mile drive.

Friday night, after our daughter went to bed, we stepped outside. And the stars shone brightly just for us. I wish it was possible to take a picture, but no picture can capture a starry night in the country. My husband said he'd never seen stars like that. I have, and I miss being able to see them like that.

Saturday morning my daughter and I were up early and I had opened the back door to the storm door so she could look out. And suddenly she was squealing, look Mommy, look, REINDEER! And there were three deer not 6 feet from our back door. I think looking for a handout, as we even stepped outside and they didn't move away. My little city girl - her experience with deer is from Christmas books of Santa and his reindeer.

I love living in the city, I really do. I like the convenience, and the energy, and the opportunity. And then there's the country. How to have both? Not by moving from the city to the suburbs. That's losing the city without gaining the country.

I still have family in my small town, we go there once a year or so. I think my soul needs more. Much more. Not full time, not yet. But something to think about, and hold onto, and work opportunities into my life.

And so, in these two days of peace and quiet and nature and refreshening, anything new in my relationship? No, of course not. Saturday night I said we have to talk at some point, and he said yes, but not then.

Today he sent me an e-mail of the ten things he loved about me. It was sweet. He is trying.


Am I doing okay? said...

Great post! Glad you had such a nice time away. I was thinking bout marriages lately - and the 50% divorce rate, and wondering why we try so hard - that half of them are destined to fail, etc. etc. etc. Ugh - just saying that even with out the incidents you have had, I still struggle just going through the day to day. Help.

meg said...

You are so right...the city or the country for me. Right now, I am thinking quite seriously of moving to a farm. I love the city, but I love the idea of a quiet life. You know, one where I see deer. Here the wildlife is raccoons from the neighborhood restaurants. I'm liking the idea of cleaner air too.

Antigone said...

Just started reading your blog today. I know this sounds trite but I hope you find the right path, whatever it may be. Maybe you already have...I need to read more of your posts. I just read the first and the last.

P.S. I recently moved from an A-class city to the country and I want to go back. I miss the opportunity, the great food, the diversity..*sigh*