Monday, August 4, 2008

summer plans

My birthday is coming up in a few weeks. We traditionally vacation for a few days around my birthday, close to my hometown, by the beach. So yesterday my husband called around and found a cheap hotel room, $100/night, which is a great rate. We'd go three nights. Of course, we'd also need to do something with our dog, so that adds to our total. Then meals out, adds up fast. A $500 weekend, easy.

And the day before yesterday my husband asked if there should be presents. Well, it's my birthday, shouldn't there be presents? And it's my 40th birthday, too.

But, let's review. I have no job, no money coming in. We are still employing our nanny. Next month I have to dip into emergency savings to start covering expenses. There's a baby on the way in November.

On the other hand, we haven't had a vacation at all this summer. With my husband just having switched jobs in the spring, and the baby on the way, we want to maximize his time off for when the baby comes and the holidays. And now, the chance to spend three days away, no dog, no cat, no house, no distractions, just us having fun for three days is simply overwhelmingly tantalizing. I so want a small break, a pause, something different for just a little while.

I really, really want to go.

I want to cry just typing this out. The responsible, adult thing would be to cancel. We have until tomorrow to cancel the reservation. We could stay with one of my cousins, but that sort of defeats the whole purpose of getting away. We could stay one night with my cousin, and maybe that would be a good savings compromise. Camping is out, I'm too pregnant and too hot to enjoy that.

I really, really thought I'd have at least an inkling of a job by August 1. Still on hook for three jobs, with an interview this week. And 4 new possibilities for which to apply, but time is running out. On Friday I transferred money from savings to checking to cover August expenses, and it all just became real then. Since Friday, my anxiety over my joblessness and money worries has skyrocketed. Our car needs new brakes. Our ceiling is leaking. And I need a break.

Two years ago we took two vacations. And spent god knows how much money. A week in the Outer Banks with college friends of my husband. A week on Block Island for a friend of mine's wedding. Two refreshingly different beaches, two weeks of fun. Last year a weekly rental at the beach, too.

I'm convincing myself we need to cancel. And I'm becoming quite weepy about it. What would you do? What are your summer plans, in case I live vicariously through them?


Wabi said...


This is a really sucky dilemma! Hmmm. I guess in your shoes, I'd probably postpone the trip. Two reasons: 1) I would feel too guilty about spending $500 of emergency money to have much fun doing it at the time. And that would make it sort of counter productive. 2) I'm not a very date-focused person, so postponing a birthday celebration wouldn't make it feel less special to me, whenever it eventually took place.

BUT ... when I postponed, I'd make darn sure that my DH understood that this is a rain-checked event, NOT an outright cancellation. Expiration date: NEVER. In fact, I'd probably apply some "interest" to the deal, saying that for every month that passed between now and said celebration, it was going to get a bit larger/more expensive to compensate for having to wait!

That way, even if you have to put off the trip for awhile, there is a little bit of silver lining you can look forward to while that goes on.

Good luck deciding what to do. And happy almost birthday!

Louise said...

I would probably postpone (notice I didn't say cancel) too - with the same caveats as wabi mentioned above - and, since you're not going on the trip, yes there should be gifts.
As for living vicariously through my summer plans? Heh, you don't wanna, trust me.
I wish I had cancelled the trip I'm on right now... we're visiting my husband's parents, several hundred miles from home, were supposed to leave on Saturday, and the transmission died in our car, to the tune of $2000. We don't have $2000 so this is going to be interesting. My husband was supposed to be back at work today but isn't. He doesn't get paid if he's not at work. As I'm a teacher I don't get paid for the summer. It's a huge cluster f*ck.

Sorry for using your comments to write a book! I hope you have a great birthday, despite the difficulties you're going through.

Astarte said...

I would postpone, because even if you go, you won't have a good time because you'll be upset the entire time you're gone over how much money you're spending, and then come home, unrested and even more stressed, to whatever bills have come that you haven't paid. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry, it sucks, but I really think it's what needs to be done.

CLC said...

Oh, which box, what an awful predicament. I wish you didn't have to make a choice, but I tend to agree with the other ladies above me. But definitely keep it as a raincheck! A new job will come through, it has to too!

mama-2-4 said...

I just think it's really lucky that you have ever gotten to take a vacation, I dont know many people who go to places to take vacations. You said a long time ago that you live in a city, I think. Maybe you and your husband could just pretend that you are at the beach and just do fun things with your daughter for a weekend but not do housework and stuff liek that.