My birthday is coming up in a few weeks. We traditionally vacation for a few days around my birthday, close to my hometown, by the beach. So yesterday my husband called around and found a cheap hotel room, $100/night, which is a great rate. We'd go three nights. Of course, we'd also need to do something with our dog, so that adds to our total. Then meals out, activities...it adds up fast. A $500 weekend, easy.
And the day before yesterday my husband asked if there should be presents. Well, it's my birthday, shouldn't there be presents? And it's my 40th birthday, too.
But, let's review. I have no job, no money coming in. We are still employing our nanny. Next month I have to dip into emergency savings to start covering expenses. There's a baby on the way in November.
On the other hand, we haven't had a vacation at all this summer. With my husband just having switched jobs in the spring, and the baby on the way, we want to maximize his time off for when the baby comes and the holidays. And now, the chance to spend three days away, no dog, no cat, no house, no distractions, just us having fun for three days is simply overwhelmingly tantalizing. I so want a small break, a pause, something different for just a little while.
I really, really want to go.
I want to cry just typing this out. The responsible, adult thing would be to cancel. We have until tomorrow to cancel the reservation. We could stay with one of my cousins, but that sort of defeats the whole purpose of getting away. We could stay one night with my cousin, and maybe that would be a good savings compromise. Camping is out, I'm too pregnant and too hot to enjoy that.
I really, really thought I'd have at least an inkling of a job by August 1. Still on hook for three jobs, with an interview this week. And 4 new possibilities for which to apply, but time is running out. On Friday I transferred money from savings to checking to cover August expenses, and it all just became real then. Since Friday, my anxiety over my joblessness and money worries has skyrocketed. Our car needs new brakes. Our ceiling is leaking. And I need a break.
Two years ago we took two vacations. And spent god knows how much money. A week in the Outer Banks with college friends of my husband. A week on Block Island for a friend of mine's wedding. Two refreshingly different beaches, two weeks of fun. Last year a weekly rental at the beach, too.
I'm convincing myself we need to cancel. And I'm becoming quite weepy about it. What would you do? What are your summer plans, in case I live vicariously through them?
17 hours ago