Friday, August 29, 2008


I wouldn't let myself post again until I had made an appointment with a counselor. It had to be done. Part of my hesitation as what would I say? Where do I start in on my story? Why do I want to see a counselor? Do I want to see one myself, or am i looking for joint counseling?

Of course it's never as hard as you think it'll be. After phone tag a couple of times, we talked today, I said I had been having marital problems, we had counselors, but they didn't take insurance, and we needed counseling that worked with our insurance. She asked if I wanted a joint appointment or single, and I said I don't know. She suggested just me alone, at a minimum I could see if it would be a good match, and decide later.

So I'm set. September 8th. Whew.

Husband came home last night, and I was happy to see him, as was my daughter. And he was happy to see us. I missed him, and he seemed to miss us. I'm glad he's home. I hope this is all true. I can't imagine being strung along by lies again.

I've been anxious this week because of what else, the job situation. Today I'm 28 weeks pregnant. Am I kidding myself, should I just accept I'll be a stay at home mom? And then what? Have I somehow shot myself totally in the foot, am I even remotely employable, at remotely the same level as I have been? Have i been blackballed in some way I don't yet know? I know that's ridiculous (the blackballing) as my job prospects have been varied and have nothing to do with each other, though in my narrow professional world, some avenues are closed to me because of past experiences. But it's not universal.

It's the quiet I can't stand. I had the gov't job interview the 20th, and just sent the thank you note this Wednesday, a week later. The would-be supervisor (who I know from a previous job) wrote me back right away and said other matters had kept her from making any progress this week but she'd get back to it next week. ARGH. Next week?! And then the part-time job - I had to write a 2 page idea paper for them last Friday. Previously they said interviews would be the week of the 8th. They wrote this week, said they got my paper, and they'd be back in touch, but no further word. Was my paper crap? Will they be in touch next week? I need feedback! Hearing nothing this week has been hard. I've seen new postings for openings, but there's a point where it makes no sense to apply, given leave. Though given how long this has been taking, maybe applying now mgiht get a job by next March!

AHHHH. I need a relaxing weekend. We're off to a college football game tomorrow. Let's not talk about the bad football experiences from last year. So maybe not so relaxing, but it could be fun. Lunch with my brother and his family Monday.

What are your plans for the three-day weekend?


Ya Chun said...

Those counselor types are really good at obliterating anxiety, eh?
It's going to be hard to trust hubby again. That's an important thing that you both need to redevelop.

Try to find something to busy yourself with- start a blog for general readership, do a yard sale, something to be productive at. I've been so busy, I stopped looking for jobs - and one just fell into my lap! (part time temp-but perfect)

I've applied to one place at least 15 times over the last 4 years and I have NEVER heard from them (even an auto-reply that your web application went thru). manners....

Tash said...

Good for you!

My husband returns from a biz trip tomorrow actually, so I'm limping through tomorrow and then collapsing for 48. While not-so-silently-and-secretly celebrating the beginning of school next week. Whee!

CLC said...

glad you made that appt. it's a step in the right direction. I plan to sleep all weekend. It's what I do best now:)

Molly said...

Glad you got something set up. It's nice to have that weight off your shoulders.
I understand the frustrations of the job hunt. Don't get too stressed out!