Monday, August 25, 2008


A couple of weeks ago, things seemed to be breaking my way - at least a little. Funny enough, many of those good things haven't come to fruition, but somehow I'm still feeling optimistic.

The possible nanny share evaporated - the mom found a woman interested in part time nannying (which is unusual). And, no big surprise, my husband left today for his business trip - without me and our daughter. No frequent flier seats to be had, tickets over $1000. He called at dinner tonight and said good thing we didn't come, as it's not the nice part of the Pacific Northwest, but sort of an industrial area. I'm not thrilled he's away, especially given his cheating took place over business trips, but that was another job and this is a totally different circumstance. But still, it's hard.

So why the general ok mood? It's the job stuff, I know. My hope has not yet been squashed. I had the interview for the government job at the local science center. I really thought it went well. They asked me some specific questions that required knowledge of the center, and my volunteer experience was crucial to being able to answer intelligently. The husband of one of my good friends works there on the private side, so I found out after the interview that I am competing against someone from the private side. There's been a history of competition between the government workers and the private enterprise, and I asked about that, because this department is trying to merge the two groups into one cohesive unit. The director replied that there had been a history, she was trying to change it, and with 6 new hires, the government side/new people outnumbered the private side. So. Either this private side person is in, or is not in. Hard to tell, and nothing I can do about it.

I polled a group of friends before the interview to ask what, if anything, I should say about the pregnancy. In the right jacket, I don't necessarily look pregnant. (swing jackets rule!). My initial feeling had been to come clean at the second interview or perhaps after an offer. My reasoning is that it's much like a benefits/salary discussion - I know there's no paid leave, but it's a leave issue. People generally felt that at 26 weeks I should come clean in the first interview. I thought a lot about it in advance, but as a government job, it was a tightly scripted interview and there was simply no place to have the conversation.

Also last week I had to write a two page idea paper for another job. This is a parttime position, 20 hours per week, on contract. Good subject matter, good organization (I did some work with them a few years ago, two jobs ago for me), interesting work. If the hourly consulting rate was high enough, this might be the job I really want. I heard today they got my two-pager, so hopefully an interview will happen the week of the 8th, and they said they wanted to make a decision within a week. So it's possible the government job and the parttime job will be timed well. I have to believe one of them will come through. These are both good fits for me. One has to work out.

And then I have another interview the 16th - but for a job with over an hour commute each way. Simply not practical with a baby on the way, and juggling an infant and toddler. I want the other jobs to resolve before the 16th so I can withdraw from consideration.

And then I have another interview scheduled mid-October. For a job I first interviewed for in May. In MAY. My friend says I'm still the top candidate, and given how they've dragged this out so far, maybe maternity leave would be ok. Who the hell knows. Mid October? I'll be 32 weeks pregnant! No "hiding" it at that point.

So those are my 4 current possibilities. Oh, and 5 - still nothing back from the funding organization (interview in JULY). No word from any of my inside contacts - they say they're being kept out of the loop. So no idea what is up there. And then I have resumes out for other jobs.

If my two top things show no progress by next week, I have to call and register at some temp agencies. I need some money coming in, and to face facts that my ability to be hired is declining rapidly.

Good grief. What a saga.

So, what do you all think? What's the best strategy when interviewing, especially closing in on the third trimester? Would you come clean in the first interview? Over the phone? Via the cover letter? Give up looking entirely?


CLC said...

My therapist told me not to mention it. If you are far enough along, they will know, but they can't ask. I think I would mention it after an offer because you do need to know about benefits. But I think I would be prepared for them to yank the offer too. Some people are just a-holes, and will do what they want, regardless if it's legal or not.

Tash said...

My god it sucks that women have to deal with this. Just think, if a man walked in and said, "we're expecting a baby in 3 months!" it would be congratulations all around, and then back to the interview with nary a doubt. Hate this.

I wouldn't say anything. Even when you're in your third tri, I wouldn't say anything. It's obvious. It's also obvious by your being there that you want the job, and that's not the point of the interview.


Ya Chun said...

I am not sure what kind of role you are applying for, but can you freelance? It will bring in money for the time being at least. These jobs are sound slow to make decisions...

And yeah, maybe you're just fat! :) I had a boss hire someone that was maybe 7 or 8 months and really huge, and one day he came to me and said 'did you know so and so was pregnant? she due in a few weeks? I just thought she was fat!" Um, duh.

niobe said...

Echoing those who suggest saying nothing. Because some people are just as clueless as ya chun describes.