Thursday, September 4, 2008


fuckity fuck fuck fuck.

I usually try to avoid cursing in the blog, not because I don't curse, but because I was raised to be very proper and sometimes when I read others blogs of things that are a little, um, raw (when usually they are not raw), I guess, I flinch a little (ooh, my poor delicate sensibilities). But today, all bets are off.

You know, I have lots of things going on in my life. Interesting things to blog - I have a definite, though still muddled, view of Sarah Palin. Though a clear opinion of the hypocrisy and cynicism of the Republicans. There's the counseling appointment next week, and have I mentioned I'm pregnant lately? And what are we going to name this baby (we have issues! much to blog).

But today, right now, FUCK.

It's not all bad. The part-time job? Finally contacted me today. Yeah! I have an interview! Initially they said they've interview the week of the 8th, decide by the 15th. Great. I want this fucking job. Badly. It could be perfect. So e-mail today? We've had a change in plans. Interviews will now be conducted at our base location, in Boston, on September 29th, please make your travel...blah blah blah.

I do not live in Boston. I will be 32 weeks pregnant on September 29th. Mother of God.

I will be on the hospital table, belly sliced open for my fucking repeat c-section (that I do not want but my body probably has other ideas, which is yet another semi-interesting post I could write if not consumed with this pathetic job hunting saga) and my phone will ring with a job offer at this damn rate.

I had a dream last night I was offered and accepted the science center job, and started the very next day. But my entire first day was filled with me thinking, what the hell? Why did I take this job? What about the part-time thing? Why didn't I ask for a delay in deciding? Why didn't I even tell them I was pregnant? So, thanks sub-conscious, that's two dreams where I've accepted science center and not been happy about it on day 1. So now I have to hope the stupid science center also delays decision making, so I'm not forced to accept a job I apparently don't want, but that would be decent and not bad career-wise.

So now what? I actually have an OB appointment the 29th I have to reschedule, great. The one possible bright side is we have unused miles and vouchers that were going to expire before we could probably use them, my daughter loves Make Way for Ducklings, so maybe this can be a family trip.

32 weeks. That's close to no-fly time. We're starting to get into dicey territory. Do I tell them in advance I'm pregnant? Blargh. Fuck. Shit. DAMMIT. As god is my witness, if I am ever employed again, and ever in the position of having hiring responsibility again, I will never, ever say the absolute bullshit words we're fast-tracking this hire. Mother fucker.


niobe said...

There's no possible way to reschedule, I take it?

Astarte said...

Hmmm... maybe this could work to your advantage!!! I mean, they wouldn't want to be in the position of looking like they didn't want to hire a pregnant woman, right? And, I'll bet if the baby's born there, in the room, you'd TOTALLY get the job. I'm just sayin'.

Molly said...

I can't believe that they're making you fly to Boston for an interview! Ugh. Take care of yourself.

CLC said...

I don't know what to tell you. I would be nervous about flying too.

Ya Chun said...

Um, their not paying for you to fly there?

Which Box said...

Sshhiiiiiiittttt. 32 weeks IS no fly time, isn't it? Dammit. Eh. I actually wasn't worried about flying (based on my own history), just worried about getting the damn job. Well, hell, if Palin can fly 12 hours back to Alaska with leaking amniotic fluid, I can certainly fly, hmm, not quite 2.5 hours to Boston. With shuttle service every hour. Hell, the train is possible, 6ish hours.

I need to think about this more. Not sure I am bold enough (anymore) to call them up and say, look, I want this job. More than anything else. I have offers (ahem) waiting. Is there any way at all we can interview earlier? If I actually did have another offer, I might feel enough pressure to be that bold.

And yeah, they will pay my travel. It's actually possible to leave here and be in Boston for a ten am meeting - I've done it before, but it's not pretty. So they didn't say anything about hotel, but I have to believe they'd pick that up too, with an early interview.

I'm just mostly so frustrated at the timing. At how drawn out this is. Meanwhile, tonight, just found out a friend has gotten a good enough part-time job in what seems like the blink of an eye - it's just worked out for her. But, she admits it's mostly an administrative job that doesn't utilize her background and experience. I'm still in the hunt for relatively well compensated, high profile, resume extending jobs. This job, even part-time, is probably a better career move than any other job in my mix, and being part-time is the bonus I want for work-life balance. I need to remember that. Still. Give me the damn job. But then again, I deserve this because I made the case, pretty strongly, in my 2 pager that they should slow things down in the fall and put the bulk of their effort into activities during the spring of 09. Self-serving for me, but also good strategy for them. Maybe they took that too much to heart!

Am I doing okay? said...

when it rains it pours. You'll probably get multiple offers on the table. I'll name your baby for you. I'm very good at baby naming, if I don't say so myself. I stay far way from safe and traditional.

Tash said...

Did someone say fuck?

During Bella's pregnancy, I flew around 32-34w to a funeral. No one seemed to give a rat's. Then again it was a blissful carefree pregnancy (read: no bleeding. Given my previous miscarriage, I was sure to wake up to a pool of blood on any given morning). From where you're flying, no problem. There are good, nice hospitals in Boston. Take a copy of your records (I did). You'll be fine.

As for the rest . . . gah. I'm no help. But I hope it resolves itself soon, and I'll add a "fuck" just to make you feel better. There.