Wednesday, November 18, 2009

new member

I got an e-mail a few hours ago from a dear friend. She has two sisters, both pregnant. Sister 1 was due in two weeks, sister 2 December 30. Sister 1 went to regular check up yesterday, and the baby was dead. She was induced, and delivered 12 hours later.

My friend sent this to a group of her friends, letting us know, saying that she wanted to share to have some support.

I wanted to reply immediately, but paused. I wanted to type the right thing, and I wanted to offer resources. But I didn't want to say I know this great! group! of babyloss mamas! and you should check out this blog and that blog and etc etc etc. Because I do not want her to stumble across WhichBox. Selfish! But I also do think you have to come to this organically, in many ways. Find what speaks to you. In the end I did suggest Glow in the Woods. I think my friend gets it. My heart goes out to them all.

What would you suggest?


Anonymous said...

It was very interesting for me to read the article. Thank author for it. I like such themes and anything that is connected to this matter. I would like to read more soon.

Tash said...

I'd prolly recommend that too. Unless it was my mother on the phone, and then I really don't know. I get what you mean.

The other thing to do would simply be to say, "In addition to me, I also know x who suffered a similar loss," and check with x and then give your friend x's email. They can always strike up an email correspondence before x goes and spills that she has a blog.

k@lakly said...

I've been in that spot too. I have tried and been prety successful at keeping my blog out of my real world life. But when a friend (through my husband) suffered a very late m/c borderline stillbirth I felt I needed to speak up b/c her husband said she was struggling so much with the loss. I did write her and lead her to Glow and L & F. I didn't mention my blog but b/c my email is also my blog nickname it wouldn't take a genius to find my blog if you wanted to look. I don't know if she did or not (find me) but she did write and thank me for leading her to the db universe.
I don't know if that helps or not. It's amzing how many of us there are....

Nixy said...

I think you did exactly what I would have done.

I would also say that I think ESPECIALLY someone who has gone through that kind of loss would be sensitive enough to keep their mouth shut in real life even if they did find your blog. I think that going through that kind of thing re-adjusts perspectives generally.

But it's hard when there isn't any guarantee, and you need this blog to be an outlet.

CLC said...

I am so sorry for your friend. I think I have recommended L&F to others, but didn't point out my blog. No idea if anyone in real life has found it or not. I'd probably delete it if they did!