Wednesday, November 18, 2009

new member

I got an e-mail a few hours ago from a dear friend. She has two sisters, both pregnant. Sister 1 was due in two weeks, sister 2 December 30. Sister 1 went to regular check up yesterday, and the baby was dead. She was induced, and delivered 12 hours later.

My friend sent this to a group of her friends, letting us know, saying that she wanted to share to have some support.

I wanted to reply immediately, but paused. I wanted to type the right thing, and I wanted to offer resources. But I didn't want to say I know this great! group! of babyloss mamas! and you should check out this blog and that blog and etc etc etc. Because I do not want her to stumble across WhichBox. Selfish! But I also do think you have to come to this organically, in many ways. Find what speaks to you. In the end I did suggest Glow in the Woods. I think my friend gets it. My heart goes out to them all.

What would you suggest?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

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Tash said...

I'd prolly recommend that too. Unless it was my mother on the phone, and then I really don't know. I get what you mean.

The other thing to do would simply be to say, "In addition to me, I also know x who suffered a similar loss," and check with x and then give your friend x's email. They can always strike up an email correspondence before x goes and spills that she has a blog.

k@lakly said...

I've been in that spot too. I have tried and been prety successful at keeping my blog out of my real world life. But when a friend (through my husband) suffered a very late m/c borderline stillbirth I felt I needed to speak up b/c her husband said she was struggling so much with the loss. I did write her and lead her to Glow and L & F. I didn't mention my blog but b/c my email is also my blog nickname it wouldn't take a genius to find my blog if you wanted to look. I don't know if she did or not (find me) but she did write and thank me for leading her to the db universe.
I don't know if that helps or not. It's amzing how many of us there are....

Nixy said...

I think you did exactly what I would have done.

I would also say that I think ESPECIALLY someone who has gone through that kind of loss would be sensitive enough to keep their mouth shut in real life even if they did find your blog. I think that going through that kind of thing re-adjusts perspectives generally.

But it's hard when there isn't any guarantee, and you need this blog to be an outlet.

CLC said...

I am so sorry for your friend. I think I have recommended L&F to others, but didn't point out my blog. No idea if anyone in real life has found it or not. I'd probably delete it if they did!