Thursday, March 27, 2008

in my drafts box


Dear nurse at the RE's office,

I am sorry I called you twice. But, when every other nurse in the office calls and leaves messages like, "your hormones look great! See you next week!" or, "your beta is fantastic, everything looks good!" and you call and leave a message that says, "will you please call me as soon as you can, I really need to talk to you about your results," well, you have to expect a certain level of panic. I returned your call as soon as I could, and then sat around and waited, tried to surf the net, totally blew off work, and, yes, cried, before calling you back 5 minutes before the office closed. Only to hear that everything was good and hormones look fine, keep doing what we're doing. I promise I'll never call twice again.

Thanks, your most humble and grateful patient


Last week

Dear other patients of RE,

I promise you, I'm not an insensitive jerk. I am SO sorry I brought my daughter to the RE's office. It was Good Friday, my nanny was off, my husband had arranged his entire schedule so that I had full child care duty. I really really had to have my hormones tested last week. I am so sorry if I made you uncomfortable. Remember, I'm there cause I have my troubles, too. I'm one of you. I swear.

Sorry, your sister in reproductive problems

Every day

Dear stomach,

Seriously, why are you so hungry all the damn time? Look, I know the nausea is coming, and maybe sure, you think it's good to stock up a bit now before that hits, but look, I mean really. You've got at least 40 pounds to feed off of before there'd be any worries at all, so can we please cool it right now? Let's just take it slow these next few weeks, ok? With any luck, we've got quite a long way to go.

Thanks! A very grateful Which Box, despite my bitching


Antigone said...

I need reminding. I was feeling a little bitter when a woman with children in tow sat next to me in the RE's lobby. It was just that she had *so* many children.

Which Box said...

Antigone, I seriously felt like the biggest bitch in the world.

niobe said...

Hmmm...I've never noticed whether the other people at the RE's bring their kids or not. I guess I am totally self-centered.

CLC said...

Your letters made me smile. What the hell was that nurse thinking leaving a msg like that? Duh, you work in an RE's office. You should know better!!!!!!!!!!