Tuesday, June 10, 2008


Hazy, hot, humid hell. That's the best way to describe my past week or so. Bleah. The weather is supposed to break today - do you think I'll gt a break, too?

So, let's see where to begin? Last week, no, the end of the week before, I had a series of unpleasant conversations with the lawyer from my former job. Hands trembling for an hour after the confrontational phone call type of calls. Luckily, it turns out I have something they want - I'm the one who registered the domain names with some service, so I have the access to setting up websites and e-mail addresses. I refused to give that info until severance was worked out, and rather than the paltry two weeks they were trying to shove down my throat, I got them to 6 weeks. Victory, but at a high stress price. And meanwhile it's taken forever for them to draft a separation agreement - I jut got it yesterday but am ignoring it. Need to deal with it. My lawyer friend who held me hand through all of this suggests I not hand over the computer access until I have a check in hand. I'm scared to play that game, but given it took ten days for them to send the agreement maybe I should.

In other news, this week our fridge died and so did the garbage disposal. So, um, yeah, I need the money and can't let this drag out forever.

I've applied for a half dozen or so jobs. Heard yesterday from an insider I was a top candidate for one of them. So now that's twice I'm a top candidate, but yet that doesn't mean anything until there's an offer. I heard from a third place that I seemed to be a good fit and they'd be in touch in another week or so - so that's three strong leads. Please dear god one has got to work out.

Because, my nanny has thrown out her back or something and I have been a full time stay at home mom since the end of last week. And I have confirmed what I knew - I do not want to be a full time stay at home mom. I just don't. Parts of it I am enjoying. Many, many parts I am not. Maybe if it weren't so freaking hot, and I had so many freaking bills, it might be more enjoyable, but so far let me tell you, this is not my calling.

And finally, in pregnancy news, my stupid stupid doctor's office screwed up my appointment on the 30th of May, and now my appointment is this Thursday, the 12th. So I will have gone 5 weeks without seeing anyone. I feel ok, so all I can do is hope everything is fine. Realistically, I'm not high risk enough at this point, so I'd probably be doing monthly appointments anyway. The only good part is my appointment is with an actual top doctor, instead of a nurse practitioner. So more news the end of the week.

So, the lack of posts has been because life just continues to be kind of crappy. Need to go dive into my separation agreement.

Let's hope the break in the weather leads to some good breaks in other ways, too.


Jenna H. said...

This is not an insult AT ALL to you--but a genuinely curious question. Why have kids if you don't want to stay with them? I haven't had children yet but I couldn't imagine working unless I absolutely had to (for money reasons). Again, this is not a personal attack on you, really--I do want to know what you think. I just don't think I could have a baby and then give him or her away to a sitter for a large chunk of the day :-)

Which Box said...

Jenna, this is a reasonable question, one that deserves more than a comment response. So an idea for a post later this week, maybe tomorrow. The question why have kids if you won't stay with them isn't the right one, though, because you are still with them, plenty. PLEN-TY, believe me. It's the full time stay at home mom-ness, no other outlet than that, that doesn't work for me. but thanks for the idea - something did happen last week that raised this in my mind and I've wanted to blog about it.

Antigone said...

I'm so glad you played hardball. I agree - wait for the check. I had a volunteer register domains for an organization I started a few years ago. It was hell getting the names back from him when he left disgruntled. Those details can have a high cost.

Regarding staying at home, I couldn't do it either. I'm able to telecommute 100% and I can't even take full advantage of that. I need to be out in the world. I look forward to your post about the topic.

How many weeks are you now? I'm closing in on 9.

Jenna H. said...

Which Box--I tried to phrase the question so I didn't offend you, and I sincerely do appreciate you taking the time to answer me. I look forward to reading what you say!

Caro said...

Hope one of the jobs works out. Oh and as for staying home full time - not for me either. I'm loving my maternity leave but I will want to go back to work.

Wabi said...

I look forward to your future post on not wanting to be a SAHM!

Throwing my 2 cents in on that subject, I think that the newborn through preschool years use a certain subset of mothering skills that all women seem expected to have, but many of us just don't. (Unending patience, for instance. Does anyone know where I could buy some of that?)

But to not reproduce just because you aren't a "baby person"? Well, that would be silly -- it's such a small section of the long road of parenthood. Better to happily skip off to work weekdays while the baby is in the care of a good sitter than to stay home full time and be miserable and have your kid soak up that vibe, I say.

Besides, whether you work or not, your tot will soon be in activities outside the home. He or she will go on playdates, make friends, attend preschool, etc. As a parent, you will guide these activities or just watch from the sidelines. In other words, you are not the bubble of their entire existence for very long at all, regardless of whether you work full time or not. And that's not a bad thing. For kids with moms who work outside the home, that introduction to the outside world just comes a little earlier than it does for children of SAHMs.