Tuesday, July 8, 2008

another interview

Back home having survived another interview. This one, I don't know. It's the funding organization, fairly high level, totally in my field with people I know and used to work with, very senior position. I am having a hard time imagining they'd want me, to be honest. I interviewed with the two people who would report to me, which sounds weird but was ok. I think they are screening people to see who they'd like, then the top people would do the second interview. I think the interview was mostly me catching up with one of the interviewers, learning what had changed in this organization over the past year or so as they've gone through a lot of changes. So if the metric was how would I click, I passed. She did tell me the position mostly required strategic visioning and positioning. I just don't think that's me. Maybe I am an implementer. I don't know. We'll see if they call. I kind of think they will, but wouldn't be surprised if they didn't. So curious who else they are interviewing, as the odds are high I know them if they're coming from inside the field.

A woman who used to work for me works for this organization, and in addition to feeding me inside info, is constantly telling me I'd be perfect for the job. I don't have that same confidence.

The senior people I know there are exactly that, senior. Really top notch, really smart. I'm smart, and I have over 15 years experience. I'm turning 40 this year. I have a child. I employ a nanny. I've survived hard, adult situations. I have gray hair (expertly covered up). I wear heels.

But I don't feel very adult. I don't think I'm a grownup. I don't feel like a senior person.

So what about you? Are you a grown up? When did you know you were an adult, or do you?


Kathy said...

I turned 38 this month. I have a 16year old son and a 13 year old daughter. I am still waiting to feel like an adult. (I fake it pretty well.) If I compare myself to the parents of my daughter's friends I always seem to come up short. I buy the crappy cereal that the kids like, I don't give them a bedtime during the summer, stuff like that. It makes me feel better that I am not the only one that sometimes feels like I am still waiting to grow up.

theotherbear said...

I'm 36. I still feel like I should be sitting at the kids table at Christmas lunch!

CLC said...

I don't feel like an adult at all and I am 34. I relate better to my pre-teen nieces then most other people!

niobe said...

I've been grown up since I was, say, nine years old.

Wabi said...

I guess I'm on the other side of the spectrum from most, because I've felt older than most people my age ever since I was 22. My mother died from cancer at home, and my father and I took care of her at the end. That was an old-making experience. All through my twenties when people were futzing around in college or backpacking in Europe and fretting about which internship to take, I felt totally out of sync with the world.

Now that I'm 37 and most of my peers are settled down and some also have kids, I actually feel more in step with everyone else again!

Caro said...

I've had this discussion with my dad and he says that (at 66) he still doesn't really feel like a grown up most of the time.

k@lakly said...

I go back and forth from feeling ancient to feeling like the biggest kid in the room. I remember when I was handed my first child and the nurses started asking me all these questions about medical decisions and allI could think was how should I know, I've never done this before in my life, your the professional, don't you know????
I feel like that a lot more as I get older, like I know less and less.