Monday, October 13, 2008

fudge and trolls

Spent the weekend eating too much fudge, courtesy of the lovely Antigone.

My very first meeting with a fellow blogger, and I had a very nice time. Not just because of the fudge present, either. We talked about blogging, about anonymity, building community. And we talked about trolls. I have never been so blessed, thank goodness, part of my (partially intentional) lower profile.

Funny enough, this weekend I got the closest I've ever had to a troll! We went away for the weekend, meeting up with my husband's college buddies. 3 families, 6 adults and 6 kids - ours is the youngest, and only girl. I usually don't check my google account much during the weekends, but was standing in a long line and pulled out my iphone to pass the time. And found a long, anonymous comment on a post from, I'm not kidding, 48 or so weeks ago. Not a real troll, but a stinging rebuke for trying to work things out with my husband, with lots of biblical quotes.


48 (ish) weeks ago. Did they start at the beginning and when things got really ridiculous, couldn't help leaving a comment? And then did they keep reading, I wonder? But no more comments? So odd. I keep light track of visitors, but given being away, and that it was two days ago, it would be more work than it's worth to do any sleuthing.

Last year this college buddy trip was in November, when it was really bad, and while I wanted to go and pretend everything was normal, I wasn't on the invite list - my daughter and I stayed home "sick." Actually, the fact that my husband wouldn't tell his oldest and closest friends that we were having trouble was something I took as him having second thoughts. I'm still sad, about it all. But this weekend, when my husband asked me if I was tired, I whispered to him that it was hard to be here this year and hear talk of last year. And we were both able to tell each other we were glad we were there together. Small steps, one day at a time.

So, anyway, between the fudge, new friend, and sorta troll, I feel like I've made it! Have you ever been trolled? What do you think when someone criticizes you anonymously? Ignore? Reflect? Delete?


Wabi said...

Despite the fact that I have a pretty-much nonexistent readership for my blog, I have also been trolled in the past. It's usually occurred in posts that were put up months ago -- presumably just some dolt(s) googling the keyword "abortion" and commenting on whatever pops up, regardless of timeliness.

In my case the trolls appear to have not read anything other than the keyword tags on my posts, since a lot of the rhetoric (adoption is the answer!) doesn't quite fit someone whose child has a median life expectancy of 2 weeks, like mine did. Sometimes I delete these comments, but other times I leave them up. It sort of depends on my mood.

The idea that someone would flame you about your marital-problem posts strikes me as way more bizarre than getting trolled about abortion-related posts. Especially if they were quoting you scripture in support of you *leaving* your husband!

The Nanny said...

Delete, but it still hurts.

Louise said...

I have hardly any readers on my blog, anyway, but, I've had one troll, and one "friend" has decided that we weren't anymore, because she misunderstood something I wrote on my blog.

The troll wrote a totally defensive and angry comment on a months-old "joke" post. I explained it was a joke, told her I was sorry it wasn't funny to her, and expected her to move on. She continued with her comments (getting less and less sensical), and never included a valid email address so that we could discuss things, so I ended up just blocking her IP after a few days.

The friend I lost - that still bothers me. Not because I feel guilty about what I wrote - I absolutely don't.

(and then I wrote a really long post detailing that, decided I should probably delete it, and if you wanna know, tell me, and I'll email you ;) )

I have since developed a pretty fancy comment policy:

You're allowed to politely disagree with me. You're not allowed to be a dick. I am the judge of what is dickish and what is not. You're not allowed to name-call, me or any other readers. If you don't leave a valid email address, that means you don't want to be taken seriously, and I reserve the right to delete or otherwise mess with your comment.

It sucks sometimes that people can't get it through their heads that there is an actual human being at the other end of the Internet, who has feelings and emotions just like they do.

Antigone said...

Biblical quotes? They couldn't even come up with their own material? *shakes head*

I'm glad we met - and most especially that you enjoyed the fudge. I really wished I liked the stuff because the shop was brimming with pretty permutations of it.

niobe said...

I've always been surprised that I've never managed to pick up a troll or two. And (unrelatedly), I wish I lived close enough to meet up with you and Antigone.

CageQueen said...

Anonymous quoting s the ultimate sign of cowardice. On my blog, I do not allow them for the simple fact that if you have something to say, then you should have the balls to say your name!!