Thursday, October 9, 2008

teh crazee

First, you all crack me up. Double down on chocolate? Good stuff. I found a brownie mix that came with icing, so double down I did. (sadly, no chocolate chips in the house, or I would have tripled - instead I compensated by having three brownies over the course of the evening.)

I had some ups and downs yesterday thinking about this whole ridiculous job stuff, but really, what can I do. I'm better today, though growing more pissed. Still have not decided on a response, what I should say, what form it should take. This is not an amateur group, though they are small. And I think this is new to them. This is for a contract position, not a staff position, but I don't think they've really thought through what that would mean. I think they'd treat it as a part-time staff. I asked questions about how they'd structure hours, deliverables, etc, and they could not answer even the most basic query. So I think a period of time where I'd be "on leave" is not something they know how to handle. I still want it, but we shall have to see.

So - those crazy in-laws. My husband decided not to go to the funeral. And he decided not to send flowers, because apparently his family already did, from everyone. I think he should have, but his decision. He did e-mail both his cousins, the immediate family of the great aunt, and got a quick blackberry response from one of them that was very nice.

Over dinner, husband tells me his mother called him yesterday on their drive to the viewing. Why, I asked? To thank me for not going.

It makes my head hurt.

She also gave him addresses and e-mails for the cousins. As we were eating, it just didn't make sense to me, so I asked again, wait, why did she call? I don't get it. And he said to thank me, and well, she also agreed that we had to talk soon.

You all get this, it was obvious in the comments. I'd be perfectly happy cutting off all contact. My husband isn't there yet, but he is close and holding a firm line. The involvement of his siblings makes it harder. His parents want everyone to be so intertwined, it's difficult to breathe in this family. I don't know what's going to happen. I haven't had the time or energy to do any drafting. I have verbally suggested a few lines, and each time he's nodded non-commitally. I think he thinks my words are too strong. But I'm not sure.

Oh! we just hung up the phone. His old job called him on a totally unrelated manner. He said he chatted perfectly amicably with the president, who told him about how they'd just separated from a difficult business partner. President then said they should talk about his unresolved financial issues with the company. So, good.

Tomorrow is our first joint counseling with the new counselor I found. Tomorrow is also 34 weeks. 6 weeks to go. And we still don't have a name. Moe on that later......


Tash said...

That's all types of crazy. Thanks for ignoring us! You're a peach to pretend we don't exist! Now go be a jewel and lower your expectations through the floor so you're not disappointed when we don't call!

Yikes. Certifiable these people. I still think yours and mine are related somehow.

Molly said...

She called him to thank YOU for NOT going? WTF? Is that blatantly rude, or did I read that wrong?
Good that your husband contacted the cousins/other family - you want them to know you are thinking of them and all that.
Here's hoping at least one of these issues gets tied off soon!

Which Box said...

oh, yeah, that might be confusing. If I'm going to use actual dialogue I'd be better using quotes or offsets. My mil called my husband to thank my husband for not going.

I do not think that I ever come up in these conversations. I think. My husband might not tell me, because he knows it upsets me.

My MIL is bizarrely (imagine that) competitive. She does this to my BIL, too, which makes him sympathetic - she accuses the two sons all the time of favoring their in-laws over their "own family." But, as far as I can tell - and I've heard her do it to my BIL - she doesn't bring her me or her other daughter-in-law into it. Much. I think she knows there are some lines. But she did once leave a voicemail at BIL's home phone calling her DIL a bitch.

Tash - you are so right. At the least they're cut from the same cloth.

Antigone said...

I will bear fudge. Just in case you want some.

Astarte said...

Wow, your MIL really wants her some attention. She's like a high school girl who wants more attention from her boyfriend, so pushes him away hoping that it will make him come crawling closer, putting her in place as queen bee. I think that the only way to be happy here is to emotionally divorce yourselves from this person. Release yourselves from any feeling of obligation, desire for approval, or need for affection. I find in my relationship with my mother, whom I detest, that that has made all the difference. I don't care, period. She can come see the kids, as long as she keeps her paws off of them, but I basically just either agree with whatever she says or deflect it, like I would with a two year-old.