Sunday, January 6, 2008

new start (professionally, anyway)

This is it! The night before I start my new position.

No one wants to be dooced. I, in particular, am very paranoid about it. I work in a relatively small field and given the personal nature of this blog, while I might not be fired (I've been too distracted with life to talk about some of the unbearable people with whom I have worked) yeah, I don't want to lose my anonymity. So there might only be vauge-ish work postings, though I think work will quickly become very consuming.

On the home front things are ok. I've gotten a thought in my head I'm having trouble shaking. I want a post nup - a POST-nuptial agreement that spells out I'll get full custody and all our money if my husband leaves me. Not quite sure I should bring this up. We live in a community property state, and in our jurisdiction, the lawyer I consulted made it clear joint custody was the norm.

So in an unsure world, I want assurances.

My husband and I are talking about moving, actually, to get out of the city itself. He thinks it's driven by public schools (and not great private options), whereas for me it's driven by a desire to get to a locality that is more mother-favorable in case of divorce. Maybe my natural optimism is not returning?

Despite my misgivings, things have actually been going well. At our last session, when I was talking about regrets, my husband said he understood that we had reached a point where actions speak louder than words. He can say he's in this, and wants to have a better relationship, but until his actions match it's all talk.

When I got home Friday night he had arranged with our nanny to have her come Saturday and babysit, and we went out and saw Sweeney Todd. Awesome. I'm not a blood and gore person as in slasher flicks, but I love it when it's part of the rich story. The music was really great - soaring, operatic, very singable. I have got to get that soundtrack.

And we spent the rest of the weekend working on the house - prepping our attic project. I feel my last few posts might have given the impression of slovenly living. Well, 9 rubbermaid containers on one floor is a bit much (again, the house was built in 1914 - there are NO closets! well, minimal closets). It's a great house, and fairly often it looks great. When you're in a bad place, as I have been, my bad habits are definitely magnified. I'm excited to have the floors put in, it'll look amazing. I'll have to post pics.

Now we just have to get the tree family has always kept the Christmas tree up until Epiphany (the 3 wise men's visit). I took all the ornaments off when my daughter was napping, so now we have a very dry, dead tree (though still pretty! very green!) with lights and an angel. Tomorrow's project, throw it to the curb. It always makes me a little sad. I told my daughter today we were taking the tree down and she looked at me very seriously, shook her head, and said, "no." So I hope this is not a major drama. In our city people put the trees on the front curb for what appears to be quite random pickup. No notice of when. Often there are trees lining the whole street for a week or so. Quite nice for the dogs, I suppose, though I try not to think about the action they all get. Man, I hope pick up is not tomorrow morning.

Still no word from my inlaws. I've told many friends the story and no one can believe it. Though then they always say, hmm, well, this explains a lot.....

And, finally, the weight. Sigh. I was doing great. I weighed myself before Christmas and I was exactly the same - 173.5. Wow, I thought, good stuff. Somehow that let me slack off even more (plus all the holiday chocolate!) and I know I am up. I'll post a weight on Friday- maybe 5 days of semi virtuous living will get me to my starting weight.

Somehow this turned into a full update post. Not sure how that happened.

OK, wish me luck as I start my new job. I'm feeling really positive about it. We'll see how I feel tomorrow.....


Juliness said...

Hope the new job was/is everything you need it to be.

Leah said...

Good luck on the new job. I would nix the whole post nupital agreement idea. I doubt even if he signed it for full custody, I am sure he could go to court and fight it. I would try to focus on making a new start for your family. I totally understand your apprehension and anger and all, but I think in order to move forward you have to do just that move forward. There are absolutely no guarantees in life, you have to go day by day and if that night you can say that today was a good day then great.

meg said...

Good luck on the new job!

You have to post photos of the floors. I love houses and seeing what people do with them.

And I'm glad that things are going so well on the home front.

niobe said...

Hope your job is going well.

Not sure if that post-nup would stand up in court, but if it would make you feel better and he's willing to sign it, maybe you should look into it.

Am I doing okay? said...

Blahhhggghhhhh! Are you EVER going to post again? I'm on the edge of my laptop.

I feel like I've heard about Post-nups.

How's the new gig?