fresh starts?

you know how when you have a huge project to tackle, you focus in on one small detail that's only slightly related to the big project? But that side project looms large and prevents movement on the big project?

Or is that just me?

Well, that's totally what's going on with me and the last post, and feeling sad about infertility in the face of everything else going on.

In a nutshell, since 2005 we've been working on a project in our attic - converting the attic to usable office space. I live in a house built in 1914, and the list of projects to do is never ending. And it seems we never fully finish one thing, or one area - there's half finished work all over the house, and at times it drives me nuts. Mostly we just live with it.

The attic has been ongoing since 2005. Good lord, now I can say that's 3 years! We improved the steps up to the attic, raised (and replaced) the roof, added heat and AC, and finished off what was unfinished space. Now, we need to clean the mess resulting from construction (I despise drywall dust), paint walls and ceiling, install flooring, and ta-da, brand new empty office. (Getting furniture up there will probably be another 3 years in the making.)

We've picked out the flooring, bought it, arranged for installation, and are just waiting for the installation date, probably in the next two weeks or so. Which means cleaning out the attic and painting has to happen soon. There are about 10 boxes of stuff - office stuff from my last job, old clothes, extra stuff, general junk - that have to go someplace.

Have I blogged about my dad and his looming hoarding problem? I did a little bit. I am a packrat, too. Too much stuff. Our basement is full of stuff, so the attic boxes can't really go there.

The upstairs hallway is already hosting two rubbermaid containers - my maternity clothes. My daughter's room has reached capacity with rubbermaid containers - 4 - of baby clothes. And the spare room also is at capacity with 3 rubbermaids of more outgrown clothes from my daughter. All carefully packed away for child #2.

So that's 9 - NINE - rubbermaid containers waiting for another pregnancy and baby. The basement has its own issues with older junk, but reached capacity because of discarded baby paraphenalia - infant car seat, baby swing, stroller, etc etc etc.

And now it's 2008, a fresh start, and throwing things out is generally what people do when they want to clear out clutter. I could sell all this stuff and get a few hundred dollars.

I can't do it. I just can't.

I've been thinking about this stuff obsessively for the past week. My daughter was born in September, so to break my logjam I've decided that I'll get rid of it next fall - find someone with a daughter born at that time so the sizes match the seasons. And then deal with the baby gear then, too.

I have other stuff to throw away, clean out, make room. I'll deal with that stuff now, and get this attic project moving. I need to put off the baby gear for awhile, just not think about it, have it hidden away in the basement for another few months. I'll deal with it later.