Tuesday, April 22, 2008

4 months later

It's two months after my Two Months Later post. And my mother-in-law is still a bitch. Of the highest order.

Last week my husband's brother called my husband. My husband, wisely, did not tell me until a few days ago. My brother-in-law actually said, you know how these things go. There's a blow up, someone makes a gesture, and all is forgotten and goes back to normal. He urged my husband to reach out to his parents.

First of all, the various times my brother-in-law has battled his parents, my husband has never once called him to urge resolution. And second, he's not talking resolution, he's urging non resolution. Oh, just forget about it, it's not that big a deal.

I'm so sick of accomodating my mother-in-law's bad behavior. Say whatever you want, do whatever you want, act like the biggest bitch, throw the biggest tantrum, and get away with it. She's 63-freaking-years old. As Dr. Phil would say, I guess it works for her, because everyone else lets her get away with it.

My husband misses his family. Within reason, though. My brother-in-law has a niece exactly nine months to the day older than our daughter, and my husband wants them to be close. My brother-in-law told his parents he was going to try to get together with my husband and apparently that sent my mother-in-law off on a screaming fit, if we went up there SHE was going to see HER granddaughter, no matter what.

My husband assures me he's firm in his resolve that this bad behavior is not going to simply be swept under the rug, forgotten and forgiven with no apology/acknowledgment from his mother. Our respective counselors are firm in saying no contact is best right now, especially at this vulnerable stage in the pregnancy (not to mention the marriage). And thank goodness for that. I think without that outside support, my husband might be pushing for more contact with his family.

You know what this makes me think, more than anything? We have GOT to find money (and time and energy) to do wills and set up financial trusts for our daughter should anything happen. There is no way in hell I want his family anywhere close to thinking they are entitled to anything, should the worst happen.

That's a digression. Got to get that done, though. Anyway, I still see no resolution to this situation. Or at least no resolution that doesn't upset me, or ask more of me than I think I am capable.

So, cheer me up. Tell me your worst in-law story (second-hand stories fine, too). And if you've got no story, but a brilliant idea to cut this Gordian knot, let me know.

5 comments:

CLC said...

yikes. It seems so unfortunate that you have to be related to her. But I think you need to continue avoiding. You don't need stress right now.

I don't have a good story. I like my mother-in-law. They live in a different country, so when they come to visit, it's for a long time. That can get kind of old but I am getting used to it.

Tash said...

Don't get me started . . . .

Lisse said...

Well I have great in-laws, but I was laughing because that story reminded my of my own family. Whenever I felt that I needed. a. break., my sister would call and try to guilt me into coming back down for a visit to our mother. Now I need a break from my sister. Go figure.

Haven't been here in a while, sorry. I hope you are hanging in there.

Antigone said...

I've never gotten along with my SIL. After my second miscarriage, she sent a condolence card addressed to my husband only.

Am I doing okay? said...

My issues w/ my MIL seem too petty. Now my mother, she and your MIL could be BFF. Honest. -V