Sunday, November 30, 2008

Early days

These early days are tough, there's no getting around it. It's hard to not have every post be some version of good grief I am tired.

It's also really hard, given my place in the blogosphere, to think (or overthink) posting subjects. Believe me, like any new mama, I love to hear how my child is amazing and beautiful and shiny and happy and new. And he is. And yet I very much know, that were the shoe on the other foot, I'd be extremely happy for bloggers who achieved a baby. And incredibly sad for myself. So I am thinking of many of you while simultaneously reveling in my joy. And it's hard from this side, too, it is, though I know it's easy to say. And boy, kind of hard to complain about sore boobs and tiredness and all the other myriad joys of new motherhood when so many people are prevented from experiencing it. What I'm trying to say, and saying badly, is that I haven't quite the brainpower to figure out how to balance all these conflicting emotions.

This doesn't solve everything - or anything - but it does certainly change the game a bit. Having a new baby is like entering a new relationship. Well it is exactly starting a new relationship. It's all you want to talk about for a while and probably drives many of your friends to tune you out for a little bit until you settle down and put it all in perspective.

And there's still quite a lot of relationship stuff to blog about, too. Hormones are powerful things, and while right now, I'm not as hormonal as I was with my daughter, there's still a lot going on emotionally. My husband is being great, though, and it really helps to have that.

On the in-law front, my husband's brother's wife, who appears to be relatively sane, sent a congratulations card to the house. Just said how happy they were their daughter has a new cousin and how they hope we're doing well. No other word from anyone else in his family. My husband has another counseling appointment this coming week, on Wednesday, so interesting to see how that goes.

More to come - I do want to write about the birth, and scheduled c-sections, poochy stomachs, swollen legs, and week.

1 comment:

Astarte said...

I'm glad that things are going relatively well, and that your husband has been so great through it all. Maybe this will be the push you need to help you both over the hump of being a real team again.

I'm glad, too, that you got the card from his cousin. I mean, the rest of them suck, anyway, and whatever they sent probably would have set off a firestorm of analysis and hurt feelings, so maybe it's best that they don't comment for the moment. I mean, ideally they would have at least sent a card, but since they never seem able to send anything devoid of blame or snide remarks, for the moment, let silence be golden. You have enough on your plate (and your boob),