Friday, November 7, 2008

peace?

Dora has it right - I am more at peace.

And Tash is spot on in her comments, too - a while ago I wrote I wished they'd just cross the line - be really horrible so we were more justified in cutting them off. So it's done. The cutting off is easy. They've done it. They've made the choice. And I'm 17 days away from giving birth, and I don't care a whit about them anymore.

I know it's not as easy for my husband, and I know it's not done for him. It's complicated with his siblings. I know he doesn't want to disconnect from them completely. I don't know what his mom will 'allow' with his siblings, nor how his siblings will react. We plan(ned) to ask his sister to be godmother, and I know my husband still wants that. She very well might say no. We don't have a easy substitution, no obvious female we'd ask. His brother and my sister are my daughter's godparents, and so we always planned his sister and my brother. It'll mean a lot to my brother. (And this is the ceremonial catholic godparents, not the who will raise my kids if I die style godparents).

My husband has not called the counselor yet, and I do think that's very important. I'll press that. But otherwise, it really is like a huge weight lifted off my shoulders, except when I think of how my husband does not handle stuff very well. He's feeling a lot of stress in these pre-baby days - too much to do, too many costs, too many burdens, and jerk parents. We just have to make it through.

3 comments:

Mommy's Milk said...

I know that it can be hard to just cut your parents off from being parents. I've had to go dpwn that road with my parents. I have to treat them like not so close friends. I still talk to them, and we still hang out. But, I've had to make sure to not expect anything that you would expect from family.

It is still hard for me to realize that when I need help, I can't ask my mother for it. I definitely think that you should press the issue with your husband about speaking to a counselor, or any third party about the situation. That would have definitely helped me, and probably still would, with the situation. Good luck to him!

musicmakermomma said...

Good luck to you in this freaky situation. I hope you can focus on your family (and not those people who cut up their parent cards by being in.sane.!!!

Astarte said...

You sound GREAT. I mean, better than I've ever 'heard' you sound. I'm so glad that you've found this peace, just in time.