My goal, in storytelling/blogging is to tell a complete story. To bring it all together. Maybe not with a neat tidy bow, but in a way that suggests I'm not just disgorging, but am plotting a storyline.
Niobe caught me. In her comment to blogging mentors, she suggests I visit the blogs of others experiencing infidelity.
Would have made a nicer story, right? And in fact was my intention. Last night I sat, staring stupidly at my screen, trying to think of any way to wrap that post together. I finally ended with a platitude - very unsatisfying to me. (though heartfelt).
Niobe's comment reminded me that I had plotted it all out, and must have been too tired to remember.
Here's the thing. I'm still infertile. I've still suffered a horrible pregnancy loss. I'm still a mom. I still have a sense of humor. The 4 I focused on were the blogs I visited most often, and they spoke to all the "boxes" of me.
Now I've added a whole new series of boxes. Which do I check? cheating husband? Separated? Single mom? Still infertile? Still grieving, and now the loss of my marriage added to that pile o' grief?
I'm not quite ready for the I have survived and am all the better for it blogs. But it's time to start seeking yet another community.
So, when your husband doesn't love you anymore and your daughter misses her daddy, and you still have fading hope in putting it all back together, while meanwhile grieving a pregnancy loss and mourning your fertility - where are my new people? Any ideas?
5 hours ago