Tuesday, November 6, 2007

Coming full circle

My goal, in storytelling/blogging is to tell a complete story. To bring it all together. Maybe not with a neat tidy bow, but in a way that suggests I'm not just disgorging, but am plotting a storyline.

Niobe caught me. In her comment to blogging mentors, she suggests I visit the blogs of others experiencing infidelity.

Would have made a nicer story, right? And in fact was my intention. Last night I sat, staring stupidly at my screen, trying to think of any way to wrap that post together. I finally ended with a platitude - very unsatisfying to me. (though heartfelt).

Niobe's comment reminded me that I had plotted it all out, and must have been too tired to remember.

Here's the thing. I'm still infertile. I've still suffered a horrible pregnancy loss. I'm still a mom. I still have a sense of humor. The 4 I focused on were the blogs I visited most often, and they spoke to all the "boxes" of me.

Now I've added a whole new series of boxes. Which do I check? cheating husband? Separated? Single mom? Still infertile? Still grieving, and now the loss of my marriage added to that pile o' grief?

I'm not quite ready for the I have survived and am all the better for it blogs. But it's time to start seeking yet another community.

So, when your husband doesn't love you anymore and your daughter misses her daddy, and you still have fading hope in putting it all back together, while meanwhile grieving a pregnancy loss and mourning your fertility - where are my new people? Any ideas?

3 comments:

meg said...

Come visit mine anytime. I promise, no "I have survived and am all the better for it!" thoughts or comments. No way!

You know, there's so much going on with you--it is mind boggling. That's why the which box thing is such a good title. Maybe you just need a really huge box and you can invite all of us to the party? I'm more than happy to represent the grieving and loss side and I had a little IF too.

niobe said...

It's not a blog, but take a look at this forum. First, read some of the posts, then, if you want, start your own thread. You'll find tons of people there who have been in exactly your situation and who will offer you encouragement and support.

And feel free to email me any time (just click on the email button on my blog).

Louise said...

I'm going to suggest betternow.typepad.com
She is starting over with her young son, after having split from the father.